Ever since I put down my guard to some random person and feel in love with her and I did cheat once in the beginning because she would start fights just for the heck of it and she didn’t want to get attach just like me I guess because she was like me in every way possible that it would be worth the risk but I’ve been hurting ever since then from my deep depression to the miscarriage she fucked up I fucked up and for three weeks I’ve been ok till for some reason Im thinking about her but I thought I’ve finally moves on I dislike her with a passion but yet I don’t have time to explain and don’t believe people understand even if they do there still someone who can hurt u really bad I feel so lonely I want to be around people but Im scared of be used someone who was the only person who has ever gotten my full trust and love just for me to lose it all and hate life I’ve seen,people be killed in front of my eyes I’ve been stabbed and abused when I was younger physical pain and even verbal pain is nothing compared to someone doing all that by just simple words but difference is u actually care what that person says just feel so alone I keep thinking about suicide but I just don’t know what to do