Every summer since the 8th grade I go through depression, in fact sometimes it comes on during other times as well. I don’t talk to anyone about it because I don’t feel they would take me seriously because I do not self harm, although I have had friends joke to me and tell me I’m bipolar. Sometimes I’m up and happy, other times I can go for days without talking. Over the past year I graduated high school and have felt many rejections in a short amount of time. I wasn’t accepted to the only university I applied to, my dream school and everything fell apart after that. I lost my virginity to a guy I was told liked me back, he hasn’t talked me since and never texted me back. I told myself I didn’t really like him but it feels like one big cliche. I went from having lots of friends to what felt like none and I couldn’t get a job for two months. After that time I was fired, dealt with lots family issues and, failed a course for a job in the future, recently that was a months pay thrown away. I currently am in university and I hate it I thought I would meet people but it’s a commuter college, where everybody goes to class and then home. I have no idea what i want to do anymore, noting to look forward too. I feel like all my friends don’t care about me anymore even when I try to stay in contact. I have noting to amount to. I have procrastinated doing an essay that was due over a week ago and if I hand it in now I will get more than fifty percent off, either way I will probably fail the class but I almost don’t care because I want to die anyways, the 500 dollar class I need doesn’t seem important anymore. Noting does, I want to escape and get away but I can’t. I can’t handle being known after sleeping with one guy that I fuck on the first date, or that I constantly fail at doing things. I feel like closet friends don’t want anything to do with me. I’m only happy when I’m at a party and I can drink and talk to people and laugh and forget everything that is wrong. It would be a relief If I could sleep forever.