I know this may sound a little weird, nut I’ve always felt like SP was my family. Like I’m not alone, there may be a backbone is this cold reality of mine. I feel safe here.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
84 comments
Because this is a community comprised of people like you and me. That’s the whole point of the project – to open us to each other so we can help each other and know that none of us is alone.
It really is helpful reading about other suicidal people’s lives and feeling we’re not completely alone. It feels great to be honest about what’s happening – hard to do that elsewhere, since non-suicidal people feel bothered when faced with unpleasant things like this. I’m grateful to have found this site.
I know I’m not the best ~little-helper~ out there but I’d like it here too if people stopped deleting my comments addressed to them. Jeez that’s the thanks I get.
Way to hurt my feelings. Seriously. Don’t worry I’ll get over it.
Well, actually… It kinda feels like this is one big family, right?? 😀
Really, it hurts your feelings? At least people don’t dislike you. Who cares what imaginary people think anyway.
Sarcasm, Hurricane Fly – you know me better than that 🙂
Or maybe you don’t?
I know very little about everything
You might be surprised by the number of perfectly good comments that get discarded. If you don’t mind a little virtual dumpster diving, you can sometimes find gems in the SP trash. That’s where deleted comments wind up. You won’t catch any diseases sifting through there, and you’ll find yourself wondering how anybody could have thrown that response away.
Oh… 🙁
Maître Cosmic knows me personality-wise… yeah, that’s the bright side.
Occasionally I do navigate through the SP dump – dunno why – I’ve seen everyone’s ~junk: deleted posts/comments, drafts, auto-drafts.
I view comments in the suicide trash too and I’m not ashamed to admit it. We shall not be made to feel excluded because of our curiosity. Civilisation could learn many things from reading suicide trash.
Hehe. Conversations can’t possibly get more riveting than this.
*Note: Utilized mimicry~!!*
This is probably the first time comments allocated to the trash on a suicide forum have been the topic of conversation. In contemplation of that, it has to count for something.
I have something that you will no doubt find more interesting. Mahmood Al Zarooni has asked me whether he should appeal the 8 year ban. Well, he didn’t ask me personally, he asked everyone on his Facebook page. Anyway, I sent him a message (or at least I think I did I’ve never used Facebook before). I’ll let you know if he responds. Do you think I should give him the link to Suicide Racing (the official chat).
HF, you have a knack for entertaining a lady effortlessly~ (─‿‿─) If you think Mahmood Al Zarooni would be interested in Suicide Racing then go right ahead. Any response from him yet?
Now this is something that won’t matter to you – hah. I received another package from Japan, contents were the latest Harajuku pop & punk fashion and Neo-Japanesque (very chic). ☆ I am going to explore the Fuwafuwa-Kei and Hime Gyaru scene now.
Y’know the OP can delete our entire conversation anytime. Well, we have a backup anyways.
Really, you don’t think he’ll find that weird?
I still haven’t had a response from him. I hope he isn’t ignoring me. To use he’s words that would be a “catastrophic error”
Damn of course he will~ it is an invitation to suicide racing after all.
Al Zarooni is ignoring me. He sounded really depressed. I told him that although he’s career is over, the whole world thinks he’s a cheat, the ruler of his country has condemned him and he’s finished, he should look on the bright side.
He will rue the day that he ignored my friend request on Facebook. From this day forth I shall not be sending him any more words of encouragement.
How the mighty have fallen. Indeed.
What does horse racing, Japanese fashion, ignored Facebook requests and the musings of a dysfunctional online family all have in common? Social archaeologists will someday find this thread in SP trash. I’m sure they will consider this treasure trove of banter a most worthwhile find.
You really think that we accomplished something here and future generations will look back at our success.
An honorary plaque would be suitable for such a monumental occasion.
Oh mon dieu! For rejecting a friend request from none other than the gallant Duke himself — Al Zarooni should be taken out back and horsewhipped! … J/k.
At least you got us, HF.
Speaking of monumental occasions, today is the 2000 guineas; an important date in my calendar. There is only one question on everyones mind right now and that’s whether the mighty Dawn Approach is good enough. I have my doubts. It’s a very strong field but I was lucky enough to be on at 3’s.
Al Zarooni had his chance to be my one and only friend on Facebook and he blew it. It’s comforting to know that I have you as a back up should wild animals, random strangers and imaginary ghosts let me down. Everyones mean. At least karma is still on my side but for how long.
I’m also supporting Judd Trump in the snooker. He’s 9-13 down against ‘The Rocket’ Ronnie O’Sullivan. He’s a Bristolian and everyone knows they are the best.
If today goes well, I’ll be happier. I’m just looking forward to good racing, good beer and good food. Chilling out over the extended weekend.
Dawn Approach destroys then in the Guineas 😀
Stable companion Letir Mor set the pace as the Richard Hannon trained toronado was traveling comfortably at halfway tracked through by Dawn Approach. Three furlongs out and Dawn Approach was asked to quicken and the response was instant as he readily drew clear. Tornado found nothing under pressure and it was Dawn Approach that won the Guineas. Glory Awaits ran on for second with Van Der Neer in third.
Ooh this all sounds so…awesome. (≧◡≦)
Yeah, you can count on me to be dependable and loyal — Great huh. Now I gotta learn how to catch a frisbee in my mouth.
Btw you’d make one hell of a sports reporter for horse racing.
Yeah, if only someone would offer me a job as a sports reporter or beer taster. The two things I’m best at. My talents are wasted around here.
Such a shame. But your current profession earns more moolah which makes you quite the catch.
Oh shizzz~ Am I wrong?
Dropping the stupid slang – now.
Wrong about what?
You’re sounding more and more like Snoop Dog every day.
The money. Snoop Dog/ slang has discredited my good name..
Lately I correspond with you more often than my other chums.
On competing against other chums?
I haven’t corresponded with one_day in a few months. I doubt I’ll speak to her again. Other than lucy, I don’t have anybody.
I’m*
No, nothing like that. 🙂 It’s just right now, I prefer your company over theirs. Did something bad happen between you and one_day?
Nope. She used to hang out in Suicide Racing (the official chat) but that got boring when I kicked out all the weirdos. We just fell out of contact. She prefers cry babies because it boosts her ego when she thinks she helping solve their problems.
Hello you two; Does it ever get hot enough in your respective countries to wear headgear that will repel harmful UV rays? It does here. Last week Dr. Kolcak was kind enough to post helpful fashion tips for the suicidal community. He did mention hats, but they didn’t sound very stylish.
Anyway, I have a Gilligan type hat that I picked up in Cabo San Lucas, Baja California, Mexico. Today is the first time this season I’m rockin the hat, covering the dome. I feel less suicidal when I’m wearing this hat. They say when you change your latitude your attitude improves, so with this hat originating from south of the border it’s no wonder I feel better.
(Gawd. I’m making as much sense as Dr. Kolcak now).
We should all wear Hawaiian shirts. It’s practically impossible to be depressed wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
I don’t like cry babies either. That’s why I hang around people like you and lucy. You guys tend to be more analytical (not emotional) and are capable of taking care of yourselves.
That’s true. Or we could go to the fabric store and get some Scooby Doo material and make our own clothes. Have you ever seen a depressed person wearing a Scooby Doo shirt?
Oh, hey Maître Cosmic (^^)/
I can barely tie my own shoe laces
Do emotional people choose to be that way though? I suspect they can’t help it.
We’re all doing the best job that we’re capable of doing considering the tools we have to work with. (At least that’s what I like to believe)
No and I’m pretty sure I’d remember something like that. They would also be less suicidal if they had a Psychedelic van. People just aren’t groovy enough anymore which is where civilisation went wrong.
Howdy suum; I can’t believe this thread is still breathing. Maybe it will make it into the all time top 5,000. (RIP HHM)
Yeah, the Mystery Machine.
What breed of dog was Scooby? A Great Dane?
I used to wonder if ‘Scooby Snacks’ was code for cannabis.
Making the top 5,000 might be a little too optimistic. It will probably end up on the suicide trash and our final words will be lost forever.
Scooby Snacks like the Fun Lovin Criminals?
I have to duck out of SP. Gotta exercise – 2nd time for today. Adios.
I remember that song. Hmmm.
Do you think the OP minds all of this random chattery?
Do you think this site will ever have a gift shop, where people can buy officially licensed SP merchandise? Will SP ever have a football team? A hockey team? Will they sell portable guillotines, or have banners for medication along the borders of the page? Could this site make money if they picked up advertisers? Is the suicidal demographic a worthwhile audience to target for commercial gain?
Probably not.
Bye SQ
Ok, I’ll let you know if something exciting happens in your absence
I don’t think OP will mind. I’ve seen her around. She’s pretty laid back. It seems like an appropriate post.
Yeah, I would certainly buy some suicide paraphernalia from here.
Paraphernalia? Like officially sanctioned SP water bongs?
Helium kits, SP T-Shirts etc. This would be the only place to get genuine merch. We could even create our own tv series basing characters on people from the site. We could call it ‘Suiciders’.
I’ve had similar thoughts.
You could write a screenplay for a movie based off of stories on here. Maybe a few characters meet up in real life. Maybe they suicide, or maybe they don’t. What constitutes a ‘happy ending’ for somebody who wants to die? Life or death?
There are a couple of different directions we could go with this.
We would need a disclaimer like “All characters and events depicted in this portrayal are entirely fictitious; any similarities to actual persons either living or dead is purely coincidental.” We don’t want to get sued.
Whaddya say BOM? Let’s go Hollywood. 🙂
Yeah we could unveil it at Sundance. I haven’t given the script much thought. I was thinking it would be sort of like Babel, several stories connected through a suicide site. I don’t get the same feel for it now, I don’t know about you. It’s just not ‘new’. You know what I mean.
Yeah….to be honest with you, I was mentally skipping ahead to after the movie is made and we’re filthy rich.
We each buy a Ferrari. You blow your cash on race horses, I develop a cocaine addiction and marry a stripper. I insist that we don’t sign a prenuptial agreement.
After we both lose our fortune, then we come back to this site.
That’s the preliminary sketch.
You know how bands will release 5 or 6 albums before they come out with a greatest hits compilation? I want to skip the first 5 albums and debut with a greatest hits. This first movie will be out Mona Lisa. Boom! Right off the bat we come out of nowhere and hit it out of the park.
Dream big, man.
*our* Mona Lisa, not out
This time next year, we’ll be millionaires
Critically acclaimed film makers, too.
We’ll hang out with Hef at the mansion, eat sushi every day, and light our cigars with hundred dollar bills.
Let’s do this BoM! 🙂 What are we waiting for? Would you rather hang around suicide chat sites or the Playboy mansion?
Pick the playboy mansion, Battle of Marengo. You and Maître Cosmic deserve it.
My printer stopped working a while ago – damn thing got on my nerves since I really needed to print out some important documents – so I took a sledgehammer and smashed it into itty bitty pieces. Not I feel better; lighter; calmer.
Now*
Gah.
Wiow. You’re a girl who smashes your foes to bits with a sledgehammer.
That is so godammed hawt. I’ve tried fixing my computer by hitting it, but I didn’t get so lucky. Whatever. My old laptop is in the backseat of my car- I’m taking that mofo out to the desert once the weather warms up enough & I’m shooting it. Have you ever shot at electronics that let you down? There really is no better feeling.
No I haven’t but I’d definitely substitute the sledgehammer for firearms since it’ll be a far more exhilarating experience.
Come to America. Let’s shoot stuff.
I feel sorry for people in lesser countries. They can’t shoot stuff. What’s it like living a life where you can’t fucking Obliterate the hurdle standing in your way?
To put it plainly, it sucks enough to make me wanna die.
You’ll have to teach me how to use a gun. First I need money then I can leave this country.
Aa was that a rhetorical question? ヾ( ˇдˇ ​)
Fair enough, Point, aim, breathe properly then shoot. It’s that simple.
I like the idea of putting a bullet through the heart. It makes all bodily functions cease.
We’re not allowed to discuss methods here but that’s a good way to go.
Have a nice day.
Duke & I are making a movie. If the suicide thing doesn’t work out, you wanna climb aboard the film venture?
< Guess who's back. Yeah I decided to grace you all with my presence again. It's no big deal.
Mhm. Sure, I’m in. You only live once.
Hey Battle of Marengo! Welcome back.
So guys… This evening I was trekking through the woods towards home and fuck! – after realizing I took the wrong route, I was already knee deep in snow. Good thing there weren’t wolves around or they would have teared me apart; though I won’t make a decent meal at my low weight. Not enough “meat”. Well I arrived home safely.
I think my height has shrunk by 1 inch.
Fell asleep. Everything else is just a blur. Do not worry at all, I am reenergised. You must have been concerned when I hadn’t made a comment in several hours, unsure whether I was dead, alive, abducted by weirdos from the Internet. Dry your tears, I am perfectly normal this morning.
Would a young woman sick with worry over your wellbeing bring you the slightest bit of joy? If yes, then I was. If no, then I’ll play it cool.
You’ve spoilt it now I know it’s artificial. I’ll get over it.
Sounds like you had a narrow escape. The wolves must have thought it’s her again, forget it well be lucky to get a decent meal out of that.
Damn, older bro messaged me… I have to sleep now – Getting up early in the morning. Gotta run again. Byes~
Ok. This brief encounter was a moment to savour. Well worth it.
Hahaha. You two are funny. Consider me the drunk Uncle who’s eavesdropping on your conversation.
If you ever visit I’m gonna check your ID’s, dammit. You better bring your fake ID or else I’ll banish you to the internet where you’ll be cursed to visiting sites like this. Oh Yes – It really can get that bad.
That’s not creepy at all. We are already banished to sites like this. Can’t get much worse.
Cosmic Blip have you gone weird again. What happened on Suicide Racing (the official chat)?
Marengo go fuck yourself with your public bitching about me. You have not once bothered to talk to me about why I left your chat room. I prefer the company of people who I can trust and rely on, not people who turn a blind eye when something is wrong with me and then ***** about me on others people’s threads. Hope you enjoy the bitching and get lots of milage out of it since it appears you in short supply of entertainment.
Since when has anything I ever said mattered to you. Even I don’t frequent Suicide Racing (the official chat) that often. I didn’t know that one of only three people (including myself) that used it upset you. This might come as a shock to everyone but I can’t read your mind.
There was a good chance you’d have just ignored me. I suspected of all the millions of people out there that you’d have liked to hear from, I was never that high up on your list.
I feel that our relationship has now broken down and we should probably go our separate ways which is good for you. I don’t ‘need’ you in the way that other people on here need you. I don’t feel aggrieved because there’s nothing to feel aggreived about. I can’t say ive given you much thought with all the sporting events that keep me entertained in your absence. It’s run it’s course and that’s all there is to it.
Ah non… 🙁