My mother and father are disappointed. I am definitely more of a disgrace to them now then I was before. I might not be graduating with my class or going to my senior prom. I’ve come to realize I don’t really care. I have all this pressure on me to go to prom, graduate, do what everyone tells you to do. But please tell me when I get to do what I want; what I think is best for me?! I sit in my room and cry and cry blaming myself for what’s going on. I’ve been this way ever since I’ve entered high school. I have no more tears. I even feel like in some way I’m being told to cry. I just want to say so badly that I DON’T CARE. But I can’t. I’m not supposed to. That’s not the way I wa brought up. I can’t do this anymore. I just want to leave…but there’s nowhere to go.
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Don’t think it’s your fault, because it’s not! Some people say its a chemical imbalance in your brain and others say it’s because of trauma or your past. What ever the reasoning is, it is still not your fault. I understand how it feels like to have your parents be disappointed at you. Both of my siblings have graduated from prestigious colleges and I was only a freshman but left school because of my depression and anxiety. I was having such a hard time accepting the fact that I had just left college. I thought it was because I wasn’t strong enough and was too weak. But one of my therapists said that depression can be viewed like breaking you leg, you’re not going to run a marathon with a broken leg right? So I’ve accepted the fact that I need help and I need to heal my mental and emotion injuries before I move on with my life. You should try to hold on with school and graduating, but if it’s too much don’t be ashamed of getting help or taking a little time off. Do what’s right for yourself and not what everyone else is doing.
The following suggestion is based on my own high school dropout experience in grade 11 (second last year of high school here):
If you’re in your last year of high school, and there’s still a chance you can graduate – do it. If you’re about to fail a class or two that might prevent you from graduating – buck and and deal with it for the last couple of months. Talk to your teachers, let them know you’re having a rough time. Try to get some sympathy, it might work out in your favor (either leniency on your grades, or the ability to do some make-up work to boost the final mark).
Do whatever it takes to finish high school, especially if you’re already in your last year. It’s only a couple of months, right? Do that much now, and there’s no rush for the next step. You can work at McDonald’s for a couple of years if you have to, waiting for motivation to strike.
The alternative is a pain in the ass to deal with. If you decide to drop out now, trying to change your mind later is not easy. Not having a high school diploma can seriously hamper your ability to get in to college or university, whether 2 years later or 10. You think a couple of months now is bad? Try 1-3 years of fulfilling entry prerequisites before even being allowed to step foot in post-secondary. At least that’s how it is where I am.
I’m 27 now, when I was 23-24 I looked at my options for getting into university. They weren’t pretty. I’ve only managed to wind up in decent paying jobs without even a high school diploma because of my early childhood interest in computers – I’m better at what I do than some university computer science graduates. I still wanted to try my hand at “higher education”, but the path to get in was more than I was willing to commit to.
Basically, if you can manage to struggle through it, finish high school. It’ll be one less burden to have to deal with later on in life if you hang around that long. I try not to have regrets in life, you just learn from mistakes and move on. But I do regret not sticking out the rest of high school. I think back to that decision now and again, and I hate myself for that one decision.
And finally… if you don’t want to go to prom, then don’t – superfluous junk you can avoid if you want. Not everyone’s a social butterfly, and I wish society would stop expecting social participation to be the assumed default.
Ah, I do in fact agree with mes1234 though too – if you really just *can’t* manage to get it done, by all means don’t think it’s all over. You can stumble now and recover later. It’s just *better* if you’re able to forge ahead and finish it off without the stumble. 🙂
Another idea is to get therapy or some help and you can finish high school online and graduate! It’s really not hard at all I looked into it when I was on my med leave during my senior year.