I’ve honestly never felt comfortable talking to my father about anything meaningful. For most of my life, Id even go as far to say that I was scared of him. Still am, a little. Dad, he’s always been the angry guy. He’s ex-navy, and is thoroughly no-nonsense. I, am the exact opposite. I dropped out of Air Cadets this year as I couldn’t stand it, I like to speak my mind, I am creative and very sensitive. Whenever I have something eating away at me, I go tell my mom I need to talk, and she’ll sit down, listen and let me tell the full story. I am perfectly at ease with her.
When I get into trouble, I tell mom first. But when I have to tell dad, I almost immediately start to cry. Im so scared he’ll get mad at me, start screaming and all that stuff, that even if he doesnt, I cant relax and calm down. I build a wall when I talk to him, I am terrified that he’s going to bite my head off or something. Sometimes when we argue, I see him lift his hand as if to hit me, but he never does. I am sometimes terrified when we fight, he may back me into a corner and I get scared. I hate talking to my dad, I dont feel able to be myself or speak my mind or tell him my troubles without him 1) shooting down my ideas, or 2) him screaming at me. Gawd, what do I do?!