I don’t know how I got to be like this. And I don’t know how to go back to how I was.
Any form of help won’t assist me in getting better. I’ve thought it through.
If I have a therapist to talk to things about, people will still dislike me. I’ll be even more of an outcast.
If I tell someone, they’ll suppose I’m craving attention, or I’m just being dramatic.
I understand there are people who care about me. But there aren’t any that are here for me physically.
The only thing I want is to let it all out. To cry. To lay out all my problems. With someone.
My only desire is to weep. I want that person to hold me, listen to me, and allow me to cry.
But nobody offers to.
And even if I got the chance, I’m almost certain I’d ruin it with my happy-go-lucky attitude when I’m around people.
I don’t like pressing my conflicts onto someone else. They’ve already got problems of their own.
3 comments
I think it’s okay to crave attention. We’re not meant to be alone, family and friends are very important and if you don’t have someone to lean on life IS very overwhelming. All you can ask is for someone to be willing to help you when you need it, they might not be able to, but they can’t if you never ask.
Everyone has problems, including you. There isn’t anything bad about needing or wanting someone to take care of you. Let yourself need that. Life is sucky enough without us imposing our own extra brand of self hate on it. Just by putting it out to the universe everyday, you’ll find someone. <3
Sweetie, it’s not that you’re craving attention at all. I’m the SAME EXACT way. I want someone to hold me, listen to me, and allow me to cry too. And just actually want to try and help me. Everyone that knows about me, says I crave attention too.. That no one will love because of the way I am.. For so long, I believed it. Still do.. 🙁 But hey, thats why I’m on here.. Just to actually talk to people that get it.
My therapist, guidance assistance, groups, whatever, does not help me. I don’t know why, and I wish I did.
Honestly. if you want to lay out all your problems, talk to me, and everything. I WILL listen to you, I will talk to you, calm you down whatever. I love helping people and I love help in return. You could never bother someone like me. <3
The thing is, I have enough people online to encourage me to keep on going.
But I don’t find it to be enough. I want someone who knows me physically to realize there’s something that isn’t right with me.