life

I once had an idea. If all fails what is left? If I am not successful in life what else is there? I think all thats left is you, no matter how shitty things might look ( perhaps they are not as shitty as it seems) or even if there is a worse case scenario you still have yourself. I think these thoughts about suicide cannot come from a person that feels ok or feels good about themselves. So all you have to do is work on your atitude towards yourself. Outer things dont matter as much in the end, life is not measurable with failing to pay something. A lot of life is just random, there are sooo many factors contibuting to your situation right now. genes childhood people passing by in your life, your choices….etc. So saying I failed in life is like saying i failed in winning a lottery, and then feeling bad about it. But still what i find most fascinating is that there is a window of opportunity, always, that there is room for change caused by your decisions. And the picture and explanations you have about yourself are a BIG factor affecting your decisions. ( Also I have always felt that if I actually commit suicide its like giving in to some mean stupid bully, who doesnt know what hes doing and i dont want that, i dont want to give him that “victory over myself”. Never. )