Losing Hope

AAitD,

Yours sounds like an especially lonely road to travel. I don’t have anything like that in my past, but I also see very little hope. I wish there was something I could say that would make it better, just as I wish there was something I could say to myself. Those who aren’t depressed themselves may not believe it, but there are some for whom there is very little hope of a decent life, no matter how pretty it looks from the outside.

If you haven’t tried counseling and drugs yet (seems unlikely, but you never know), you probably should give those a spin. Don’t try them for now until the ends of times as some psycho-pharms would like. But, subject to being able to afford it, one or two efforts from each category of drug (SSRI, SNRI, anti-convulsant, atypical anti-psychotics, and MAOI) would be the MAX I’d recommend. Never did anything for me, but I do know people who have been straightened right out by them. After that, there’s always ECT (haven’t tried that one yet). After you’ve done all that, all that’s left is to see if you really have the nerve to kill yourself. Hopefully, you do.

Good luck in this, the unluckiest life imaginable.

Dallas