Need

Hello Nicole,
I’m assuming your are attracted to persons of the same sex? Which is the way you were born, absolutely normal for you; but perhaps not for your family?
I want to help. I’ve been on that suicidal side of the looking glass and it hurts worse than most physical pains anyone can imagine. And it doesn’t just ‘go away.’ And I used to wish I could go to sleep and peacefully die because no man would ever love me.
Well, I’m still single after all these years, but I’m happy. I’ve made my own life and have treasured pets to live with.
You do need counseling and perhaps medication. Anti-depressants do not solve everything but they sure do help! Bolders can be reduced to puddles. And perhaps you could enjoy soccer again.
I don’t know where you live, what kind of enviroment, but perhaps a school counselor could direct you? If you are in a small town, less forward-thinking, area; it really sucks.
I started being suicidal when I was 16 and didn’t try until I was 24. By that time, I was in college and was fortunate to be assigned a compasionate therapist.
I’m on the internet and don’t know where you are, but please know you have been heard and someone cares.
I’m going on a short vacation Tuesday, but my email address for this website is scdproject@earthlink.net . I can check it an communicate further that way.
You sound like a deep and feeling person who does need a caring and objective friend.
Hang in there.

Peace out.