I just want to start by saying, fuck everything.
I’ve been trying to repair my life, trying to get better and help myself, just to realise that being ‘okay’ is worth fuck-all, and it helps nobody, not even myself.
I’ve been constantly fantasizing about ODing on anti-depressants and dying feeling just as fucked up as I have all my life.
I don’t even know anymore, but I assumed since this is a suicide site I might as well be depressing, so I don’t even know what the point of this was.
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I’ve been trying to repair my life
Have you ever wondered what life might be like if instead of repairing life we just lived it
Sure there is a time for reflection, what worked what didn’t, Do better when you know better.
But it seems to me we spend our so much of our time in this mindset that we must repair, re measure, fix again… that we get stuck not even sure what were measuring anymore.
What specifically are we trying to repair?
Where specifically are we?
What specifically are we trying to achieve?
Where specifically do we want to go?
What if you can’t repair life?
The Past being the past has passed you can be forgiven, you can forgive, you can do better when you know better.
Life remains constant, only experienced in the moment, repairing life is like trying to hold on to a single monticule of air.
What if we stopped trying to repair life and live it instead?