hello
im going to do this evrey day so i know im still alive and to vent all the shit so i dont do this on fb i mostly wight potry on here and been doing the rants on fb but i think i need to stop doing that cos it upsets people and i dont whant to do that so a bit bout me (sorry if i bore you) i have a multude of problems that for some reson have been put on my sholders with the normal 16 year old problems and wile do the pre jone cors for the paras wich i have been rejetid from because of mentel probs
at 11 2 of my frends killd them selfs in front of me one shot him self and his girlfrend hung her self evrey one said there was nothing i coud do and both notes said that thay loved me and thay had askt me to be there cos thay trustid me but i blame my sel to this day for there deths i know there must of been some thing i coud of don for them to stop the hert if only thay had told me some thing
i find it hard to make frends iv been bulled all my life and it has corsd me to self harm for a lot of my life and the people i love are drifting way from me i dont see or tak to them some have cut me off completly
there are others but there more privet
resunt ly some one i well love verey much has startid to drift she has stopt me from ending my life on mulutpul acashions and i have don the same on fewer and now shes got a boyfrend and she asunt got the time for her brother in the uk its tering me to bits
i havd tryd to kill my self a number of times all have just put me in hostpitel but one killd me for 15 seciond (trust me the doc got a sprice when i woke up
so thats it apart from i play the gutat i smoke pot and do lsd from time to time and sober for the first time in 3 weeks