I feel quite depressed  but I guess that’s okay since I managed to be alright the past week. I’ve been walking mindlessly through the present and haven’t thought of the future , I don’t know what I was thinking I guess I just thought things were getting better though I was wrong, what was I thinking. Reality slapped me in the face the school year’s almost over and I’m still in the same place I was when it started and I’m feeling even worse than freshman year, I can’t bury my feelings as well as I could last year and my grades have slacked, and yet again I feel like everything up until now is worthless I don’t know why I thought that I could move forward and I don’t know why I keep being optimistic and hopeful if in the end it all fails and I end up thinking of all mistakes I have made.

I can never find a balance for things it’s like I’ve just given up I may not have been alright my freshman year but I at least had a bit of direction and a plan even though I was depressed I was able to make plans of making things better and when I failed I didn’t take it to the heart I just took it as it was and moved forward and even though I didn’t have anyone to come to with this I was able to write my feelings out and that was enough, but I guess I got tired and now I’m a complete mess and when things go bad it shows I slack and I need someone to talk to. I need to learn how to pick myself up again before I go off the deep end and become a burden or nuisance to people.

I’m way too frustrated right now