The first part of this resonates with me. “Sometimes, we forget we’re still here.”

But “the living feeling…” is a feeling.

Some people fake feelings… and while i would call it “an act,” to “fake feelings,” i would have to define “the living feeling” as an actual, valuable, cherished part of the actual experience of life.

You have to be alive, to feel that.

You have to “act,” as in: perform actions… in order to feel that.

You have to Live, to feel alive… to feel that living feeling.

Part of the problem is that most of this world perpetuates and is preoccupied with this bizarre death culture.

But… who can honestly blame anyone for “worshipping death,” amidst the chaos and strife of such an agonizing, squandered, unfulfilled life?

People get tired of acting like everything is so wonderful… and death is the obvious escape, when there is not another obvious solution to all that is wrong with this world, and all that causes such widespread suffering.

If the people who “get it,” all just quit life… then who will understand the problems we perceived? Who will be around to fix anything?

I’m torn because i can’t really blame anyone for feeling so overwhelmed, thinking it’s all just too much, and bowing out… but i wish that everyone who could see and understand the problems, would decide it’s worth the pain it takes to gain, through action, a world with those problems solved.

I honestly wish someone else would just do it for me… but i know that’s not a reasonable thing to expect, or even hope for.

I’m past the point of actually caring what other people think of me. I only care when it’s somehow beneficial to my own goals, and even then, it’s hard to pretend.

I mean sure, i prefer being liked, as opposed to disliked, but… i’m unwilling to pretend to be something i’m not, just to convince people to like me. I’d rather be alone, than be a fake friend to a fake friend. I won’t pretend to be something i don’t want to be, just so people i don’t even like, will pretend to accept me.

I’m unwilling to fake enjoyment of an unacceptable life, just so other people can feel better about themselves.

I don’t think “that living feeling” is an act… but it seems quite a lot of people are only “acting” as though they actually feel that.

And i’m not sure why, but that last line just reminded me of Megadeth’s Symphony of Destruction. “…We dance like marionettes… swaying to the symphony…”