it seems that my life revolvs rownd cuting drinking and wining im sick of it

two shots of wiskey in the morning folowd by wining bout my own pettey self pittey then carving a a name in to my skin over and over wining some more then oblitrating my self when im sober im like this haling my self not life my self and whant iv don  to my self the why iv liyd in an atempt to make frends then drinking to forget keeping my self alive is a dayly strugun that reqires three pills and 26 drinks and all i think of this is no one cares when im sorber ordrunk just the backgrownd nose of life no one cares evrey one left me i whant to go now but i cant even do that right