Am I wrong for after a few years of having moved over to another town to want to let the kids who bullied me know how I feel and ask for an apology I’ve been thinking about this for a year now and at first it was a thought of “wouldn’t it be nice?” but now I’m actually thinking of doing it I’m terrified even though I don’t see these kids anymore even though they live across the town border so I shouldn’t be worried but it has affected me so I want to do it I may not receive an apology but I feel like I could get some form of closure from this  because I’d rather ask for an apology 3-4 years later than 20 years from now.
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In 9th grade a kid once throw a rock and hit me in the head. Besides that he would try to be intimidating in other ways. Years later we ran into each other at his brothers house and smoked a joint together and neither of us said a word. Bullies either get theirs in the end or see the errors and apologize or not. I never asked for nor got an apology but I had so much other crap going on that I didnt care.
I can see what you mean with so much going on that you didn’t care I’m not asking for an apology I just want to let them know I just want closure
Please think carefully about it. If they are the kind of people who would do that, even if you tell them they will laugh inside and out to know they are still affecting you. They won’t feel anything other than boredom because they don’t feel the way we do. Treat them like a mad dog and stay away from them. You will never get what you want from them. Stick with. Kind people. 🙂
Your heart is in the right place … but that’s not a realistic thing to hope for … let it go, chalk it up to experience lived and learned – avoid similar personalities and move on knowing you survived. in twenty years the apology might come from them proactively – but there is nothing you can do to make them give one or more importantly MEAN it. Just know that eventually those people will run into someone bigger and badder than themselves and they will reap the karma 😉
let sleeping dogs lie
sleepy dawg
@dawg – let sleeping dogs lie, what I was trying to say in 4 words!
Yeah I guess I’ll just have to I wanted some closure as I’ve been thinking about how it still affects me today
Yeah I thought that might happen but it was a thought
Butterfly :c
hmm what?
You should ask for an apology. In case they’re still dicks bring a large pointy stick. Oh and i was trying to get butterfly_free to talk lol she wrote a post about me and i feel like i was a jerk because i told her i didn’t need her to fight my battles…:L
FYI – I’ve actually chatted with a couple of the bully-types that i experienced well over 20 yrs since that time period for me … they acknowledged that they weren’t “nice” and that their behavior was “wrong” but they’re really in denial about just how much they terrorized me when i was in high school … but i’ve long since forgiven them … and the fact that they at least acknowledged their behavior was less than decent was really just icing on the cake.
you won’t get very far driving down a road if you’re looking out the rear window 😉
learn from the past, plan for the future – but LIVE in the moment 🙂
dawg
;o; Dawg aren’t you like googolplex years old? :L so 20 years ago? thats like yesterday for me…haha sorry…but yes hopefuldreamer he is right. Keeping your eyes on the past makes you forget what matters, like what you are doing today. Theres nothing we can do to change what happened back then…even an apology doesn’t really heal the wounds you know? Although an apology is definitely a good step forward, still keep your head up. Bullies suck, we’re pathetic people c:
Yes I’m not bitter towards anyone and I’m actually very forgiving I just had a thought I’m not sure and to be honest it wasn’t that long ago (literally) maybe 2-3 years I’m on the fence about it. I’m not saying everyone should tough it out I’m just saying let them know if it goes bad that can also give me closure, you know? because I understand that’s how they are
Closute is good 🙂 do what geels right. Glad you are forgiving.
I can’t understand why anyone would bully but the reason I wanted to do this is because I realize bullying can cause mental issues for some people and I thought I was alone in this but I’m not so I want it to be known hopefully they’ll think of those words when I tell them that so they don’t do this to anyone else
@8 … yeah … i’m a geezer – thanks for reminding me 😛
@Hopeful – the bullies do it mainly because they are insecure with themselves and direct that insecurity by dominating/controlling others … like i said – your heart is in the right place, but it’s still too close to the events to think that they’ve matured enough to want to honestly listen and apologize for their past actions … they won’t change until they become the bullied (and they will) … this is one you simply walk away from and be thankful things weren’t worse. to go back is to “stir the pot” and open yourself up for more harassment and ridicule again – i know it feels unjust but these guys always get punched in the mouth down the line
right hook dawg
Thanks all for giving me a look at things in that way but I wonder why it takes that long for people to say sorry it feels a little too long
You want closure. But you won’t get it from them. The best you can hope for is closure within yourself in learning to let go/forgive/move on
I understand
I was bullied extremely in school, by my best friend of all people, He made my youth a living nightmare and pretty much scarred me into adulthood too. Still to this day he ‘thinks’ he is a good person..oh the delusion of the bad!
As people have said above all you can do is let go, learn, move on and fight any demons it has left you with the best you can, trust me I know that one!
@Hopeful – I’m pretty sure they figure out long before then that they were wrong – but it takes a little time for them to get out into the real world and find out they are not a big fish in a small pond but they are actually a small fish in a big ocean – and they take a few knocks to realize they are now in the position you and i were once in and now they actually “see” what they did to us … or they have kids that get bullied and they are basically helpless … but it also has a lot to do with time and opportunity. There was no internet when i was in school and certainly no social media so when people moved away – that’s it, they lose touch.
When some of these people reached out or were suggested as friends through social media … it brought back some unpleasant memories … i had to take some time to mull it over … but I came to the conclusion that it was all in the past and let it all go
present dawg
I’m still on the fence about this
Don’t ask for an apology. Ignore anyone who tells you to or to do what you feel is right. You can find your own closure and get past it. Really.