I’m new on here, probably needed somewhere to rant.
Well, here’s my life in a sentence. 15 almost 16 year old girl, make bad grades, messy room, video-game nerd, perfect boyfriend, but that’s just the pros. Con wise, my father died when I was 10, my nephew who was my world got killed by his nurse, my grandfather died a month ago and my mother is suicidal to a point where it scares me. My step-dad is a stupid drunk and I despise with a fiery passion, who doesn’t care about Mother or I. I get yelled at all the time about my grades and how I can never live up to my parents standards. I’ve attempted suicide on multiple occasions and cut for a long time. My boyfriend is trying to help me to stop cutting. I really want to but I don’t want to upset him. I don’t know what to do, I have no friends, I’m constantly bullied saying I am fat or ugly. My self esteem sucks. I guess I just want some friends, maybe one? Any advice?
3 comments
First, I want to say that you’re not alone. I’ve known quite a few women who were in similar situations. They are all pretty well off now. You’ll find, with time, that things can get better. Take it one day at a time and never let anyone devalue you.
It’s unfortunate that your parents can’t support you.
But at least you recognize how screwed up they are, so try not to let there words get to you. I know, easier said than done.
For some practical advice, you will need to replace your maladaptive coping mechanisms (I.e. cutting) with something healthier. I’m sure if you search you will find something that can help.
Remember, the most profound changes start with the smallest steps.
Exercise, it will help you lose weight, you will think clearer, and you will feel healthier. I’m sure there are workouts online for beginners, and you don’t need to go to the gym to workout.
You can improve your grades if you have some discipline. Keep a schedule and make sure you meet your deadlines. What helps me is I always prepare for next days class by reading ahead. That makes the class easier because I know what’s going on. Also, it makes homework easier.
About the bullying and having no friends, there have been a lot of famous people who have been bullied and had no self esteem when they were younger. You have to keep fighting on. If you are worried that you have no friends, then try to understand why. Maybe read a few self help books and try to change yourself a little bit. I’m not saying change yourself into something you are not. But if you think you might have some faults, then there is always time to do something about it.
They say that the hardest part is just going through the suck. I think you are tough enough to get through it!
Living this long life of mine of depression, I think that the best place to start with acknowledging and the next would be find a support group and stay with it. Even if you feel better, stay with it. Almost like the 12 step program for AA, support is the key because without it isolation and misery follow.
I hope things work out for you and get better. I truly mean that. Live, Laugh, Love