Earlier today I posted this: If you wonder why
Now, I want to post this. Because, you see, EVERYONE can help someone:
I was here. It was 2 in the afternoon and I was still in bed. I got up to feed my dogs and let them outside.
I got a glass of tea for myself and sat at the kitchen table. I was going to drink it as I waited for the dogs to finish eating. Then I was going back to bed. It would be safe there.
All of a sudden my neighbor was at my front door – screaming and crying. She was hysterical. I opened the door and she came running into my living room: “I ran over my cat, I ran over my cat, please help me!”
I am standing there, my hair is a mess, I have on a t-shirt, sweat pants and no bra. I stink. I haven’t even brushed my teeth.
But…
I didn’t ask for her insurance. Instead, I chose to hear her and to see her. I chose to help her knowing there was nothing in it for me and in spite of the fact that I feel like a worthless – yet invisible – pile of horse shit otherwise. I did it in spite of being in the middle of my own problems. In spite of knowing that my already PTSD-mushed-up-brain would take on more by involving myself.
So, I ran around getting dressed and making sure my dogs were inside – in under a minute.  I grabbed a towel, locked up the house and ran over to the cat. It had dragged itself under some bushes. All the while my neighbor is crying and blaming herself. “I’m going to Hell for this”, she said. “No. No you’re not”, I told her. I smile inside and think, “If anyone is going to Hell, it will be me.”
I wrapped the cat in my towel and we took him to the vet. I hope he will be okay but he’s very old. I don’t know if she broke his leg(s) or just bruised them. Either way though, I think he should make it.
She reached out. I reached back.
Simple.
8 comments
I wish I could give you the support you deserve.
glass_music_cup: Thanks. But, just knowing you’re still here helps. I’ve been thinking about you often and hoping you hadn’t left. I was worried.
🙂
Glad to hear the cat will make it … hopefully no spine damage or major internal injuries. The suffering of things causes me physical pain. That fact is a double edged sword – it gives me a great capacity for compassion and care – especially for my mutts, on the other hand – it makes me want to remain ignorant and uninvolved from the pain and suffering of anyone or anything … there is always a gap that i have to consider jumping across as to whether to open myself up to feeling the pain of others and it sucks when it appears you are the only one with the capability to help or the one best positioned to do so.
It’s a large part of the reason why i’m still here on SP … like everyone, i came here with my own issues with distinctly personal and unique “features” that really no one here (other than perhaps a philanthropic bajillionaire) can actually help me with..
So i stuck around to impart some of my knowledge and experience to others because i kinda go with the “if not me, then who?” philosophy but i still have to try to manage my desire to help others with my own well being … so i generally keep an “arm’s distance” approach and although it feels to some like i’m uncaring, but we all have to know our limits and no one can help everyone no matter how much they might wish for it to be so.
It’s a stark reality that we must accept to be able to survive this world … of course we got to start from the fundamental point that we actually WANT to survive this world as long as possible – so that being said, there are those here that fundamentally do NOT want to stay here even if all things were ideal … i can’t even begin to help those people other than to counsel then on (or against) accurate information about certain means and methods of an exit process (not that i have any experience with any of them – only informational based on research)
But i digress – DM – you did a good thing – and i assure you, you ain’t going to “hell” because there is no hell other than what we create for ourselves … and what we create we can UNcreate … or at least modify. It’s funny how sometimes i think back to a situation that happened sometimes decades ago … and i recall how my actions hurt me or someone else … and I relive those feelings/emotions for a few moments and my brain screams “How could you?!? Do it RIGHT this time!!!” … well, we can’t rewrite history – that is another stark reality – but we can learn from it and not make those mistakes going forward
I guess maybe that’s one reason i like dogs better than people – they forgive mistakes readily … but they don’t forget … try trimming their nails again after you mistakenly cut one a bit short … good luck … put the clippers down and it’s back to licks and kisses 😛
groomer dawg
SAD UPDATE: The cat was euthanized yesterday. It’s spine was broken just above the pelvis and the neighbor didn’t want to try a wheel chair or anything. So, she let him go.
R.I.P., Coco. You were a great old cat.
That sucks … i was actually afraid of that. I’ve had a paralyzed dog before and it’s always a tough call … especially the older a pet is … pass along my condolences.
mournful dawg
Oh no your neighbor must be devastated. After years of living with my ex wife one day she said she accidentally killed her family cat when she was younger, I guess the guilt came back some days for whatever reason. That’s a bummer sorry DawgMom.
Oh, crap! I forgot to say that I don’t think she ran over him. She was pulling IN her driveway not backing out and she never felt / heard a thing until she got out of her car. Plus, he had no internal injuries, just a clean break in his spine. The afterthought is that he got hit while crossing the street – and was almost missed but got clipped on the side – and dagged himself to her yard. Then he was dragging himself to her when she got home.
So, at least she feels better about that. But, it’s never easy to make a decision like that. I work in the pet loss field so, I see this all the time. It never gets any easier.
No – it never gets easier … i foster geriatric and special needs/blind (basically unadoptable) dogs for a local rescue … my home ends up more like a hospice than a temporary placement … every time i have to “make the call” is devastating … but better with me to the very end, loved and cared for instead of dumped or neglected/ignored. I’m glad for her sake that she didn’t actually unknowingly harm her own kitty … i’m always fretting over whether i’ve overlooked something that they will unwittingly get into or out of and get harmed – it’s one thing when it’s a natural or random event – but it’s a whole other thing when it’s something you could have prevented or you overlooked :/
convalescent dawg