I post here – talk, I guess you could say – about it because it’s not safe to say out loud. Not if you’re uncertain. Not if you don’t want to be stopped.
It’s worse now. And I love it – how people that you go to for help end up making it worse. How they realize that they’re in over their head and then – ha – they dump you. They can’t handle it and they give you three references – via email and on a Sunday -Â and tell you good luck.
No one knows. No one can. This is what suicide feels like. The before. The pain. It’s about way more than killing yourself, folks.
It’s okay.
(Smile)
5 comments
DawgMom: I can relate to your post. You can say it out loud here. Most of us are uncertain and also don’t want to be stopped. I completely understand the disappointment, rejection, and maybe even fury with these supposed helpers who reject or judge or don’t understand. Whatever they do, they seem to make it worse. And that somehow confirms a particular view on the world and humanity.
It’s way more than killing yourself, you’re right. I know the agony of the before time, when a person is planning and deciding. It can be torturous.
CTB: Thanks. Read it (what you wrote) and cried. Thanks for understanding.
fabcde431@gmail.com… if u want ny1 to talk to..
Yeah, what a purgatory to be in. Being understood and accepted is the very least we should expect from others.
Thanks, fabcde421, but I think I’m passed that. Talking, I mean. I don’t email to anyone outside this site, either. Sorry.