So confused

So.. My triplet sister got married yesterday. Our other triplet is a brother. My sister are practically one in the same person and I know we have an incredible bond. We have both had previous marriages and relationships and that part is nothing new. Before my sister met her now husband ( wedding was yesterday) she had gone through a break up the previous year. I would call her everynight to check on her and often travel an hour every couple of months to make sure that she didn’t have to spend an evening alone.
Last August she met an amazing man and immediately they new that they had found the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. As in a lot of new relationships I started not hearing from her as much. I get that. Then four months later I went through a break up. They helped me move and she would call every few nights to check on me. The holidays came and went. Two months later I was diagnosed with Melanoma. I’m doing well after three surgeries, and I knew she couldn’t be with me physically as she bad started going to school full time.
Around this time they decided to get married. I haven’t for one second not been happy for you, however mixed feeling as our relationship dynamic has already been going through a change and now I know it would again. I understand the change. While we were both single we had each other and now she’s getting married . Like I said, we have been through this before.
I have to say that over the past few months it has bothered me that we actually went two months without seeing each other. She was busy. The phone calls have become me calling her 95% of the time first.
I was her Maid of Honor yesterday. I cried at the wedding. She has been through alot of crappy relationships and she is so peacefully happy now. I was having a difficult being the only single person there. I often found everyone paired off in conversations and there I am sitting alone. I tried so hard to stay engaged and kept telling myself this is HER day.
We had even had the conversation that she knows how I feel.. I once got married and she was single. There is that deep feeling of something that I can’t even describe when you feel that stretch of the dynamic changing and you kind of feel that you are losing that person.
After the ceremony on the beach I was talking to a couple of my niece and nephew and their SO’s and I look up and the whole wedding party had already walked off of the beach back towards the house and I felt like.. Hey.. Why didn’t anyone call overvto me to tell me we were walking back?!?! My niece and nephew are in their early 20’s and I also had a pang in my heart that my son couldn’t be there with our family yesterday. He is 23 and lives and works in Tokyo. I haven’t seen him in two years.
During dinner I was sitting next to my sister and went to talked to her a couple of times and I know she didn’t hear me, but it stung when she turned and spoke to someone on the other side of the table.
After that we went to the beach to take pictures. The sun was going down and we had to move quick to get good light. She didn’t ask for a picture of the two of us.. My best friend and her maid of honor. Nor was there a picture of me and her and my new BIL. There WAS a photo taken of my new BIL’s best friend who was his best man and the two of them.
I left last night and came home. Between just trying to be strong because for me the whole thing is bittersweet.. The total awkwardness of being the only single person there for those two days and then the rest of it, I was exhausted. I didn’t say a great good bye.. Just I’m going home. I had to get out before my head exoded.. So to speak. I cried all the way home.
This morning I called her and it all came out. I was crying uncontrollably and ts her how I felt. I told her that she forgot to be on my end of it. We both have been here and it really sucks. I said some things I shouldn’t have said. CRAP! abs also told her that I have no one.. I’m alone and my son lives across the world. I have cried all day. I don’t know if I feel worse physically or emotionally.
I’m sorry to go on and on. I just needed to get that out. I sitting here crying and my head hurts. I have not had any food today. I’m so confused.
Was I selfish? If she were me would she feel the same way? I’m sick over it.
Thank you.