this is it

here i am. once again. holding the knife. with fear of knowing what i want to do. im scared. i can admit that. i want it over. heres my chance. will i do it? i wish i could. i wish i was weaker now, more than ever. to just do it. so i think i am. main vain. and goodbye. to those all who never cared. to hear my call. that i have sent many, many times. and i get no answer. i get no help. i dont need it. i supose i was never meant to. this is how it is. the life i lived…there isnt one.