Why AM I On This Page?

I really don’t know if I came across this page by accident. I already know the answer; it was no accident. 27 years ago, I took a bottle of pills to end my life; at the time I was 14. Yes you can do the math; now I am 41. During that time, I felt like I was too nerdy to have any real friends and I tried to “fit” in by doing all the wrong things: drinking and sex. Well then, I didn’t have to worry about HIV/AIDS. Anyway, I felt as though the only thing my parents cared about was “bringing home good grades”. I didn’t feel loved or appreciated by anyone. Well, of course I lived, because I am writing this.
Fast forward to now. I have 4 beautiful children who are all allowed to be themselves with no pressure of pleasing anyone but themselves. They have never been spanked, beat, cussed at or dictated on what to do with their lives. I only ask they respect me, themselves, and others. Not to be floormats or punching bags for anyone. They know they deserve the best and demand it. They do not fit in with the status quo, they don’t dress like everyone else or even care what others think. They are honestly free. Free-er than I ever was.
I read you guys posts and I so hear myself 27 years ago. You are told that you have so much to live for. Honestly, I cannot tell you that because I am not walking in your shoes. I do know there is a way out, there always is. You are not here to be a punching bag, a sex toy, yelled at, screamed at, kicked at. You are here for far greater things and you may not see it now because you are blinded by pain, but hopefully you will see clear enough to call a hotline or reach out to someone who can help.