I don’t see the point anymore, all I focus on now is school, and still at night I hear my parents talking. No one knows this depth of loneliness, to be invisible at school, to be invisible to your teachers, to even hear your parents say that you are hopeless. Its too much, I can’t do it. I just want the pain to end. If it wasn’t for the knowledge that the end of my life would be unbearable for my parents, they would have already buried me.
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Perhaps they should know that hearing them call you “hopeless,” is emotionally devastating to you, and yet, the only reason you hesitate to exit, is the thought of how it would devastate them.
Or…
Perhaps you should do your best to block out all the bad thoughts, and just focus on school. Learn well and devise a way to apply learned knowledge to earning income. Then, you can become independent and do whatever you want, away from anyone who causes you grief, and most likely find some semblance of inner peace… or at least some good times, and hope for a decent future.
That’s the point. School is there to teach you /the system/, as much as the knowledge to benefit from participating in it.
Eat something healthy, take some time to breathe and relax, and embrace the value of the opportunity to learn as much as you can… so that you can become your own self-sufficient person.
You find school hard.? As you get older. 20’s you get more confident’s Be a lot more self assured. I i remember being your age It sucked.