and again im on here, talking it through helps, i cant talk to people i know about stuff, im always too busy making sure i come accross strong and confident, covering my ass with lies. its been over a year now since it all happened, i say it was a spur of the moment thing, me and a guy i hardly knew, i was 14 and he was 18, on concrete by a public footpath in the middle of winter. they believed it, i mean why would i openly go there? who would want that? it still hurts to remember it all, yet however much i push it away jerks at school taunt me about it, im a slut, i’ll take it anywhere. i agree knock it off my shoulder and laugh it off. since then i cant stand anyone, anyone who trys to get close i push away, even my best friend. all i do is studdy now make my mind numb with the stuff. the only way i could get along with the stress was to cut but now my mum checks me all over my stomach my thighs my ankles theres no where to hide. now the stress is getting worse and my heart starts pulmatating to the point where i think im going to faint. exam is in less than two days now and the kids are full of ammunition… i tell my phsychatrist im fine, give him all the answers he wants, no i dont think of suicide, no ive never cut, no i dont smoke, yes it was consented. i dont want to get into anymore trouble.