I don’t want to kill myself yet; I just want to curl into a ball, and leave the world behind.  I need more electroconvulsive therapy;  thirty thousand more shocks won’t cure me I fear.  I still owe six thousand dollars from the last round I received.  The weight of the financial strain it placed upon me has so far lasted two years longer than fleating psychiatric relief it gave me.  I don’t know what to do.  The treatments worked when the medications didn’t,  but I can’t afford the treatments.  I don’t have very many options.