dude im so sorry i dont even have enough words in my vocabulary to express how deeply sorry i am for the way you have been forced to live your life. tell me more?
My mother has vitiligo, no cure as yet; considered “incurable”. I watched a (medical) show on tv; a company came up with this almost ‘spray -on skin’ (I don’t remember well) – very costly I think. Lots of promising research into cure/solution for alopecia, though yeah, like with the vitiligo, you’re probably going to have to find things that make living your life a little more pleasant, with the condition. My mother did not have the condition since birth; something ‘triggered’ it I guess. She did marry someone pretty good-looking (really) – my father. I hope you find a way to make this all a bit more bearable; perhaps someone somewhere will come up with a cure even. Take care.
I appreciate what you are saying and understand where you are coming from but the thing is I have been waiting for years for a cure.
Its funny because every year they say the cure will be on shelf the next year but it never happens.
Ive lost all hope I think I’m helpless no matter what people say to me at this point.
Is it possible for you to wear a wig? There are a lot of realistic looking wigs out these days. That way you won’t have to wear a hat everywhere you go.
I know this isn’t much help because people are very visual and judgemental, but perhaps you can join online communities and make friends there, where people can’t see your condition? Or perhaps you already do engage in mostly online activities.
If it helps make you feel any better, I am normal looking, but I have no friends either 🙁 Honestly, I can’t seem to make friends, and have them like me or care about me. So it’s not all about looks. But yes, you do have a raw deal in life. Just like how I’m screwed- I have a slew of health issues (though none visible). Which in a way is good but in other ways suck. At least having people pity you is better than them ignoring you (tho I’m sure you get both).
Heck, I’m not even sure why I’m typing. I don’t think my post is making you feel any better. Just..life sucks. That’s all I can say.
Hi helphelp, its so heartbreaking to hear when someone else feels the way I have my entire life. I want to tell you that my cousin ( girl) had alopecia and lost all her hair in school and had to wear a wig. My other cousins sometimes picked on her and pulled her wig off in school and had everyone laughing. But now years later my cousin with alopecia is happily married with a kid and her own home . My other cruel cousins.. some are married but all are on drugs and miserable and sleep with everyone and they have incurable stds now. I was teased in school and never could make friends an if I did it would be just one and I wouldn’t keep them long I was teased in school and that lead to body dismorphic disorder that got worse over the years and I believe i am the ugliest deformed thing that has ever lived. I can not look at pics to this day of my shoulders and above cause it could throw me into suicide mod. But lil over two years ago when i was going to kill myself that night i met someone and we made an instant conection and there IS a such thing as a soul mate and you will know at times when they are in trouble you will dream it.. there are times i would answer his questions before he asked them and he would get freaked out. Often times we say what the other is thinking. Im telling you this because i don’t want you to think that love like that in your life is impossible because it isn’t. I have found the best friends to make are the ones that are going through the same things you are. Maybe you can find a site out there to talk to people going through what you are and make a connecton so that you wont feel alone, maybe you will even make them here.
Man, i can see the pain in your writings.
Makes me think about a lot of thinks.
I know what are you saying, the tag of “little crazy boy” as been whit me all my life.
Same as you, i cant get a job, i have a mental illness.
Im condemned to be a homeless bastard.
Im 18 years old and i dont know anything but pain and misery… and you know what?
Im fine whit all my fucking mental illness
Fuck people!
If i where you, i would go naked at the streets.
Find the thing they dont like about you
Then… make that thing your biggest pride.
I can say im proud to be the little crazy boy who spend almost all his live jailed in a psyquiatric.
Fuck People, Fuck Society and his “stetic values”
So fuck them more than they could imagine!
You have been dealt a really crappy hand, and I am so sorry. As a mom who lost her son to suicide (hence the user name), I am going to ask you to please go to your parents and tel them the 100% unbridled truth about sad and desperate you are feeling. I don’t know where you live, but if you have access to some kind of support group of other people who suffer from these disorders, I think you might find some people with more empathy. I also hope you will get some therapy to help you deal with the real pain you are suffering. Finally, I want to say as an older person (in my late 40s), that I not think but I KNOW there are quality people in this world who can look past a skin condition and a bald head. My husband is bald and I consider it very sexy. Lots of women–young and old–have this same view. Yes, I believe people are judgmental and harsh. But if you can hold on, get some help for the emotional pain you are in, and begin projecting an “I own this damn world” attitude, I think you will find that people are drawn to you and your strength.Believe it or not, but a lot of women don’t give a rat’s ass about how a guy looks if he’s funny, confident, and nice. You can do this. Talk to your parents, get help for your anxiety, reach out to others who have the same conditions, and hang in there. I wish you the very best and I firmly believe you will someday look back at this and be so relieved you decided to hang in there. Last thing: if you take your own life, you will have ended your pain, but you will create the worst kind of pain imaginable for your parents. So many times since I lost my son, I have wanted to be out out of my misery and prayed that I would be hit by a bus or get a fatal disease. Every day is a struggle for every member of our family. I honestly don’t think we will ever feel real joy. Please don’t do this to yourself and your family.
@Ashley: What would you like to know? I mean my life is very messed up, in fact I am starting to become very selfish ad don’t care about others. Other people don’t matter because they never cared for me. I can easily say that I don’t care if someone close to me died. I guess its because I’m so empty right now. Sometimes I dont feel sad but just so empty and gloomy (nothingness) . I’m currently looking for the energy and motivation to ctb.
@bah: No wigs will ever be as authentic as real hair. And lets not forget the vitiligo will always be there. Wigs will only hide the truth, I mean i would have to tell my wife, what if she feels betrayed. And finally, me too i dont know why I’m writting. Also I am to embarassed to be proud of this. (@deathman)
@Sara: I am happy to hear that they made it past the desease, however I dont want to life a life like that. Why should I have to live like this, I rather live a normal life then no life.
@LostMyBEutifulSon: Sorry for your loss, I can tell you that your son did feel hopeless. Though its important to understand that it may have not been your fault. ( may have but i doubt it, you seem like a very good mother, going as far as joining this site and posting, heck your smart too) . I believe that I somewhat feel like what your son felt. Its not that I dont want help from my parents, but my parents cant do anything to help me either. They can maybe change my mind by yelling me lies about how I look decent; and nobody wants that. Again, sorry this may sound mean but I’m not trying to
Tell me about your childhood, about happy things that make you smile. I kno how it feels to feel emptyness inside of u, but mine only lasts for a few hours before i quickly find a distraction. and it is true wat tht one lady said bout how all girls dnt just look for looks. Only the fake, truely shallow ones find looks to be the most important. Im known to be (unfortunately.. I take no pride in this), the hottest girl in my skool, and ive dated the nerydest of the nerds, the ones tht everyone labeles as “not attractive”. Sure I could get the cutest guy but who wants that, the cuter a boy is it usually means the more of a douche/jerk he is, while the ones who havent been dealt the cute card are more humble, more nice. There SSOO much better. I dont even care what they look like, its the personality that gets me, fuck looks. Its wats inside that matters, you only want girls who think tht for they r the best thing for u. Damn straight that your gonna find someone, look forward to it. Be confident in who you are, a girl loves that. Don’t hide your face, don’t hide your pretty smile. Hold your shoulders high, and dont feel silly or ridiculous when you do this. We are our worst critics, they only person we have to please is ourselves. Do u see wat im sayin? Im horrible at explainin stuff so srry bout tht. Yeah u prolly think tht ur 19 n dnt got a girl friend now so you must think tht means ull never get one. I have a best friend, shes mixed and shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen in y life, her personality is fantastic on top of tht which just inhances her beauty in my opinion. She 17 and never had a boyfriend. She thinks its becuz shes ugly. Shes not. She just hasnt met tht guy yet, a guy who doesnt ask for nude pics. Same goes for u, u just gotta be patient, which sucks i kno. You have no friends becuz of how u look? Shit even if u were they wouldnt be real friends if thts the reason their not friends wit u in the first place.
My childhood was the only time I was happy because looks didnt matter. Infact, there are many times I was happy but thinkung about it makes me very sad.
The last part you wrote really does make sense. I understand 100 percent what your saying. It makes me think and doubt myself for wanting to die.
But still I guess I will never stop ranting because I cant fully experience life.
Also i just want to say thanks alot i really mean it. I feel like your my closest friend even though I dont know you.
Well im glad u at least had a happy childhood. Great im glad u understand wat im sayin, n its ok to rant if u keep everythin inside ur just goin tto ventually break n explode so this is a good thig. No dont do tht, listen i want to be ur friend, lets exchange favorite colors n favorite foods n call it the begining of a friendship. Can I put my contact information on here? I really have no idea how to work this website honestly so idk if i can just put my number out there. Shit text me, facebook me, call me if u need to. My names ashley mccrossin, if u have a facebook u can find me on there if u want to be friends, ill understand if u dnt wanna since im like a complete stranger over here. Food for thought though.
14 comments
dude im so sorry i dont even have enough words in my vocabulary to express how deeply sorry i am for the way you have been forced to live your life. tell me more?
My mother has vitiligo, no cure as yet; considered “incurable”. I watched a (medical) show on tv; a company came up with this almost ‘spray -on skin’ (I don’t remember well) – very costly I think. Lots of promising research into cure/solution for alopecia, though yeah, like with the vitiligo, you’re probably going to have to find things that make living your life a little more pleasant, with the condition. My mother did not have the condition since birth; something ‘triggered’ it I guess. She did marry someone pretty good-looking (really) – my father. I hope you find a way to make this all a bit more bearable; perhaps someone somewhere will come up with a cure even. Take care.
First of all, thank you for replying.
I appreciate what you are saying and understand where you are coming from but the thing is I have been waiting for years for a cure.
Its funny because every year they say the cure will be on shelf the next year but it never happens.
Ive lost all hope I think I’m helpless no matter what people say to me at this point.
Is it possible for you to wear a wig? There are a lot of realistic looking wigs out these days. That way you won’t have to wear a hat everywhere you go.
I know this isn’t much help because people are very visual and judgemental, but perhaps you can join online communities and make friends there, where people can’t see your condition? Or perhaps you already do engage in mostly online activities.
If it helps make you feel any better, I am normal looking, but I have no friends either 🙁 Honestly, I can’t seem to make friends, and have them like me or care about me. So it’s not all about looks. But yes, you do have a raw deal in life. Just like how I’m screwed- I have a slew of health issues (though none visible). Which in a way is good but in other ways suck. At least having people pity you is better than them ignoring you (tho I’m sure you get both).
Heck, I’m not even sure why I’m typing. I don’t think my post is making you feel any better. Just..life sucks. That’s all I can say.
Hi helphelp, its so heartbreaking to hear when someone else feels the way I have my entire life. I want to tell you that my cousin ( girl) had alopecia and lost all her hair in school and had to wear a wig. My other cousins sometimes picked on her and pulled her wig off in school and had everyone laughing. But now years later my cousin with alopecia is happily married with a kid and her own home . My other cruel cousins.. some are married but all are on drugs and miserable and sleep with everyone and they have incurable stds now. I was teased in school and never could make friends an if I did it would be just one and I wouldn’t keep them long I was teased in school and that lead to body dismorphic disorder that got worse over the years and I believe i am the ugliest deformed thing that has ever lived. I can not look at pics to this day of my shoulders and above cause it could throw me into suicide mod. But lil over two years ago when i was going to kill myself that night i met someone and we made an instant conection and there IS a such thing as a soul mate and you will know at times when they are in trouble you will dream it.. there are times i would answer his questions before he asked them and he would get freaked out. Often times we say what the other is thinking. Im telling you this because i don’t want you to think that love like that in your life is impossible because it isn’t. I have found the best friends to make are the ones that are going through the same things you are. Maybe you can find a site out there to talk to people going through what you are and make a connecton so that you wont feel alone, maybe you will even make them here.
Man, i can see the pain in your writings.
Makes me think about a lot of thinks.
I know what are you saying, the tag of “little crazy boy” as been whit me all my life.
Same as you, i cant get a job, i have a mental illness.
Im condemned to be a homeless bastard.
Im 18 years old and i dont know anything but pain and misery… and you know what?
Im fine whit all my fucking mental illness
Fuck people!
If i where you, i would go naked at the streets.
Find the thing they dont like about you
Then… make that thing your biggest pride.
I can say im proud to be the little crazy boy who spend almost all his live jailed in a psyquiatric.
Fuck People, Fuck Society and his “stetic values”
So fuck them more than they could imagine!
You have been dealt a really crappy hand, and I am so sorry. As a mom who lost her son to suicide (hence the user name), I am going to ask you to please go to your parents and tel them the 100% unbridled truth about sad and desperate you are feeling. I don’t know where you live, but if you have access to some kind of support group of other people who suffer from these disorders, I think you might find some people with more empathy. I also hope you will get some therapy to help you deal with the real pain you are suffering. Finally, I want to say as an older person (in my late 40s), that I not think but I KNOW there are quality people in this world who can look past a skin condition and a bald head. My husband is bald and I consider it very sexy. Lots of women–young and old–have this same view. Yes, I believe people are judgmental and harsh. But if you can hold on, get some help for the emotional pain you are in, and begin projecting an “I own this damn world” attitude, I think you will find that people are drawn to you and your strength.Believe it or not, but a lot of women don’t give a rat’s ass about how a guy looks if he’s funny, confident, and nice. You can do this. Talk to your parents, get help for your anxiety, reach out to others who have the same conditions, and hang in there. I wish you the very best and I firmly believe you will someday look back at this and be so relieved you decided to hang in there. Last thing: if you take your own life, you will have ended your pain, but you will create the worst kind of pain imaginable for your parents. So many times since I lost my son, I have wanted to be out out of my misery and prayed that I would be hit by a bus or get a fatal disease. Every day is a struggle for every member of our family. I honestly don’t think we will ever feel real joy. Please don’t do this to yourself and your family.
Thanks for all the replies!
@Ashley: What would you like to know? I mean my life is very messed up, in fact I am starting to become very selfish ad don’t care about others. Other people don’t matter because they never cared for me. I can easily say that I don’t care if someone close to me died. I guess its because I’m so empty right now. Sometimes I dont feel sad but just so empty and gloomy (nothingness) . I’m currently looking for the energy and motivation to ctb.
@bah: No wigs will ever be as authentic as real hair. And lets not forget the vitiligo will always be there. Wigs will only hide the truth, I mean i would have to tell my wife, what if she feels betrayed. And finally, me too i dont know why I’m writting. Also I am to embarassed to be proud of this. (@deathman)
@Sara: I am happy to hear that they made it past the desease, however I dont want to life a life like that. Why should I have to live like this, I rather live a normal life then no life.
@LostMyBEutifulSon: Sorry for your loss, I can tell you that your son did feel hopeless. Though its important to understand that it may have not been your fault. ( may have but i doubt it, you seem like a very good mother, going as far as joining this site and posting, heck your smart too) . I believe that I somewhat feel like what your son felt. Its not that I dont want help from my parents, but my parents cant do anything to help me either. They can maybe change my mind by yelling me lies about how I look decent; and nobody wants that. Again, sorry this may sound mean but I’m not trying to
She is right about the bald thing, my fiancée is bald and a lil over weight with a cute beer belly and I think he is the hottest thing I have ever laid my eyes on.
Tell me about your childhood, about happy things that make you smile. I kno how it feels to feel emptyness inside of u, but mine only lasts for a few hours before i quickly find a distraction. and it is true wat tht one lady said bout how all girls dnt just look for looks. Only the fake, truely shallow ones find looks to be the most important. Im known to be (unfortunately.. I take no pride in this), the hottest girl in my skool, and ive dated the nerydest of the nerds, the ones tht everyone labeles as “not attractive”. Sure I could get the cutest guy but who wants that, the cuter a boy is it usually means the more of a douche/jerk he is, while the ones who havent been dealt the cute card are more humble, more nice. There SSOO much better. I dont even care what they look like, its the personality that gets me, fuck looks. Its wats inside that matters, you only want girls who think tht for they r the best thing for u. Damn straight that your gonna find someone, look forward to it. Be confident in who you are, a girl loves that. Don’t hide your face, don’t hide your pretty smile. Hold your shoulders high, and dont feel silly or ridiculous when you do this. We are our worst critics, they only person we have to please is ourselves. Do u see wat im sayin? Im horrible at explainin stuff so srry bout tht. Yeah u prolly think tht ur 19 n dnt got a girl friend now so you must think tht means ull never get one. I have a best friend, shes mixed and shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen in y life, her personality is fantastic on top of tht which just inhances her beauty in my opinion. She 17 and never had a boyfriend. She thinks its becuz shes ugly. Shes not. She just hasnt met tht guy yet, a guy who doesnt ask for nude pics. Same goes for u, u just gotta be patient, which sucks i kno. You have no friends becuz of how u look? Shit even if u were they wouldnt be real friends if thts the reason their not friends wit u in the first place.
My childhood was the only time I was happy because looks didnt matter. Infact, there are many times I was happy but thinkung about it makes me very sad.
The last part you wrote really does make sense. I understand 100 percent what your saying. It makes me think and doubt myself for wanting to die.
But still I guess I will never stop ranting because I cant fully experience life.
Also i just want to say thanks alot i really mean it. I feel like your my closest friend even though I dont know you.
I will wait a day or 2.
Well im glad u at least had a happy childhood. Great im glad u understand wat im sayin, n its ok to rant if u keep everythin inside ur just goin tto ventually break n explode so this is a good thig. No dont do tht, listen i want to be ur friend, lets exchange favorite colors n favorite foods n call it the begining of a friendship. Can I put my contact information on here? I really have no idea how to work this website honestly so idk if i can just put my number out there. Shit text me, facebook me, call me if u need to. My names ashley mccrossin, if u have a facebook u can find me on there if u want to be friends, ill understand if u dnt wanna since im like a complete stranger over here. Food for thought though.
I added you under a fake name Mocheal, hope we can talk soon.