My head hurts, not a regular migraine, just my brain hurting every time I try to form a thought. Everything is clouded by this dull aching in my head. After years of struggle the answer is clear. My time is near. I’ve done all that I can do here and no more. My 34th birthday is on Wednesday, so I have until then, the time is ticking away. A welcome deadline, that for once I will make. This is the most selfish thing a person can do, so I will do something for myself this time. A permanent slumber, an eternal nap. I am ready for the silence, for the darkness and the death.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
I just wanted to tell you are not alone in this, I myself have been very suicidal in the past. I was wondering if you could email me at Taliyarose1@gmail.com I would like to know more about you and your story, and see if there is anything I can do to help you. Stay strong
Things been hit and miss since ’09, no real feeling of belonging, no point in being around, not contributing in any positive way possible. In ’09 I put a revolver to my head, pulled the trigger and the gun misfired, the shell had a bad primer. I figured I was the only person that could screw up something as simple as ending my life. I have been struggling to exist and assimilate to the world since. In all honesty, trying to form any kind of thought other than ending my life quite literally makes my brain ache. My time is drawing to a close. I lost my job a month ago, going to be evicted next month, and Electricity going to be shut off on Friday. With my birthday being Wednesday, I figure everything falls right into place. Helluva deal, don’t know the last time I was happy or felt joy or warmth. I have to burn myself just to let me know that I can still feel something. Though now I have something to look forward to for a change. Have a good day/afternoon/evening/night, whatever it may be.
While I don’t necessarily agree that suicide is the most selfish thing. I can empathize with where you are coming from. As someone who has attempted suicide, I would advise you to really consider whether it’s your only option. Do it with a clear head, think about what you’re leaving behind, and whether you’re truly ready to let those things go. Then make a plan of action whatever it may be. Know that your pain was heard here today and you’ll stay in my thoughts. If you choose to continue, know that this site is a good place, a safe place to put these type of emotions out into the world and have them acknowledged.
I understand you, nohope. Sometimes I’ll get headaches that feel like my head weighs thirty pounds and all movements are painful. I can’t think clearly and I feel fatigued even if I had an easy day and slept well.
I don’t know who you are, or what your story is, but you are a wonderful person who was put on this earth for a reason. There has to be someone out there who loves you, and if not, then let it be me. Let it be the rest of this community. I love you so much, and I think it’s really brave of you to put your feelings out in the open like this. Please don’t kill yourself. There are so many more options to take than ending your own life. You don’t have to be alone you know. And yes, this is corny: but it WILL get better, I promise. Not if you try doing it by yourself though. Reach out to someone, get help, heck, email me if you have to! asbel_garcia123@yahoo.com if you need someone to talk to. Just please PLEASE don’t kill yourself. I’d strongly advise against it.