all i want to do is jump from the fucking top floor window. i dont want to be talked to like this. i dont want to be treated like this. it’s not ok. it is not okay to keep feeling like this. what the fuck am i doing wrong?! what the fuck am i doing?! what the fuck?! what the fuck?! whether i talk in a calm sincere loving voice, whether i beg and plead, whether i shout from the top of my lungs, nothing works. nothing fucking works. no i just get fucking screamed at after ive screamed because all of this has caused me to lose my marbles. what the fuck?! i cant fucking explain this. i cant fucking get understood. what the fuck. why do i fucking exist?! to be somebody elses fucking robot?! what the fuck?! the only fucking time im heard is if someone misinterprets something i fucking say?! for real?! and then i have to spend all of this energy explaining why i was fucking misinterpreted. what the fuck?! and then everything else is fucking throw out that i need. what the fuck?! how fucking twisted is this?! yes, i want to go back into the shower and just scream and cry on the floor while the water is running. what the fuck else can i do other than jump out a fucking window?! what the fuck? am i a human, or am i robot?! am i dirt? that’s how im treated. what the fuck?! the fact that i have to waste all the fucking energy and emotions on this is fucking retarded. what the fuck?! for fucking once can i be heard?! can i fucking be understood for fucking once?! what the fuck?! why the fuck am i here?!