8 years and I’m ready to give up…

It’s been 8 years since my husband died and no matter what I do or what I try I just can’t move forward… For 8 years I’ve been trying to move on and put my life back together, but no matter how hard I try I find myself back at square one… I’m starting feel like I’m living on a snakes and ladders board!! For the last six months I thought I’d cracked it, and although it was bit scary I felt I was finally moving forward… THEN I got a letter from the tax man that I owe money..money that there adding daily interest to at almost a grand a week!! My first thought was “fuck it..I’m done” I’ve made my plans on how to go, what to do, how to do it….BUT I thought no!! I’m better than this I can try at least to sort this out… I’m going to the bank to see if I can borrow money against the house to pay them before its too late..but I’m not hopeful..and if I’m honest I’ve run out of fight, I don’t feel scared, I don’t feel a coward…I just feel tired, I’ve had enough… I’ve run out of fight!!