Help me in Sydney

Sorry to get to you so late, but I am also in Sydney. If you want, we can chat through here.

I have thought long and hard about different methods. My main concern is causing the least possible distress to family and friends. I do not want a graphic and bloody exit. Things got bad last year. I had a knife in my hand – as much as I wanted to just stab the hell out of myself and be done with everything, I couldn’t do it for fear of causing myself and my loved ones unspeakable pain. I made a shallow cut on my wrist and even that hurt. For a split second, the pain was almost a relief in that its cause was easily understood, unlike the pain in my head and heart. The thought of going all the way with the knife scared me – I lacked the courage, but I would say that it was the guilt and worry from the knowledge of scarring my loved ones for life that ultimately overtook my instincts.

Sorry, kind of blurted out the above paragraph before realising I’m off topic… So, I have done some research on the ******** method. Out of the methods you mentioned, I personally think that ******** would cause the least distress. Plus, it’s over quickly and non-messy… There’s a lot to prepare though. I haven’t gotten to the point of figuring out where I can buy ******** tanks without arousing suspicion. I don’t know whether there are any regulations in Australia for the sale of these, but in some other posts on this forum, people in the UK/US have said that it’s pretty easy to get them from any welder shop. With more digging around on the internet, I’m pretty sure we can figure it out. There is information in The Peaceful Pill handbook on using ********.

I would really recommend NOT sourcing drugs online. Like you said, you don’t know if it’s the real thing. I have heard that a lot of people go to Mexico to source the vet drug that you are referring to, pentobarbital sodium (e.g. ********), but restrictions have really tightened, so it’s getting harder. I do not know if I will regret saying this here, but I have work access to Lethabarb, which is another brand name for the drug. I have seriously contemplated using, but I know it would get people who are important to me in serious trouble. So, in the end, it is still ********.

I will get my hands on the Peaceful Pill Handbook to find out more. I think that you should too. Of course, only in the most desperate circumstances would we consider taking our own lives. The time may or may not be now, but like you said, a practical plan helps.