how weird, i am free and independant and yet i cannot do what i want. it is like i have this fake freedom, i have the freedom from all the people who can bind me, voluntarily or by force. but i just cannot be free of myself, i cannot not hold myself back. sometimes i feel i can only be as good as i want me to be. i feel so enormously sick when my strongest of emotions fail to lead into action. my eyes may well up with tears for something and my heart would be convinced about that, yet it all falls flat so quickly that i grow tired of myself. i am so fed up and tired of myself. thats it jersey girl, thats all my inspired moment could yield. i wish i was slow to get provoked but slower still to come back to baseline, alas all i am is quick to provoke and quicker to reach baseline. thats all i am jersey girl, the idea of a romance is no longer about living, its about surviving.
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