I don’t know where to begin. But maybe I can start off with saying that I have nothing left to give the world. I feel completely drained of life. Completely. I hate to have to write these words but I don’t know what else to do. I have been on this earth for 29 years and I know that it’s not supposed to be tho difficult. It’s not supposed to be this hard, but it is. It’s overwhelming. If I could say to you the fact of my life I’m sure you old all find things that are really wonderful and I have no south that you are right. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t have nay happiness in me.
Recently my girlfriend, who I moved half way around the world to be with dumped me, and having nowhere to go other than our apartment in London, we were living in Greece, I came here today. Looking at out stuff. The smells. The parts of our lives.
This morning after I arrived I got a message from her that she miscarried. Our baby is gone.
I don’t know where to go from here, but the token saying of tomorrow will be brighter, do not help. They do not bring comfort. The idea of suicide brings me comfort. The idea of freedom brings me comfort.
I will also say, I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’ve not drank in a long time. The idea of a drink brings me no comfort, only suicide. Complete and utter freedom from the insanity of my life.
I love you all.
6 comments
Sounds like you’re in a crappy situation, to say the least. I hope you can figure something out beside suicide. Good luck in whatever you do!
oh man. That sounds so horrible. It is completely understandable that you would be a wreck after getting news like that and that situation.
Perhaps give it a few days, do something to relax or distract your mind. Read a book, go see a movie, rent a movie, take a nice warm bath with some relaxing tea. It is normal to feel shitty after such a trauma. You may feel better in a couple of weeks.
Anyway I really feel for you and know what you mean regarding life’s not supposed to be this hard.
Hey, I’m not here to talk you out of anything, I’m here to ask you have a good look at your life. Your 29 your still young, I’m 28, I spent the last four years saving up for a house with my ex, I paid for it all I literally did everything to make it perfect and leading up to moving in she got cold feet and left me. I now live alone in this place we made together. Everyday I think of her and there will always be a major part of me that loves her. But I know that round the corner anything can happen. And that is the frame of mind you need to get into. Yes suicide is comforting but think of those you leave behind, how would they feel? Though you don’t think it right now but to other people you are so special to them
I know I am special to many many people. It happens to be they the people that are special to me never seem to have the same feelings for me. With this girl we argued all the time, long, abusive, fearful. When we broke up my older brother suggested that if this was something we enter we should seek professional help. He sacred his experience, he and his wife visited a couples counsellor and they have had huge success. A small communication change allowed them to grow together. I asked my girl if she would and she said “no”. I don’t understand why I’m not worth it. I’m not worth someone fighting for. I appreciate your comment.
I also feel for you. I can’t imagine the ideas that you have at times in that house. Maybe you someday will have an chance to create your own memories in that space.
Thank you
I know I am special to many many people. It happens to be they the people that are special to me never seem to have the same feelings for me. With this girl we argued all the time, long, abusive, fearful. When we broke up my older brother suggested that if this was something we enter we should seek professional help. He sacred his experience, he and his wife visited a couples counsellor and they have had huge success. A small communication change allowed them to grow together. I asked my girl if she would and she said “no”. I don’t understand why I’m not worth it. I’m not worth someone fighting for. I appreciate your comment.
I also feel for you. I can’t imagine the ideas that you have at times in that house. Maybe you someday will have an chance to create your own memories in that space.
Thank you
hey brotha, im here to listen… love can suck. shoot me an email if u like.