PTSD wearing me down

I got clean and sober 3+ years ago, with that came some blessings but it also revealed my nightmares.  Now that I am not numbing myself out anymore I get to deal with all these feelings and embarassing moments like freaking out when I hear a child scream (even if they are playing) or not able to go celebrate the 4th of July with friends because I cannot handle the fireworks.  I found a “family” in the 12 step program that I am in, my real family disowned because I came out as a lesbian.  Now my 12 step family feels distant too.  I feel broken and worthless.  I cannot hold a job because of getting triggered…now my son and I are barely hanging by a thread living in a one bedroom apartment, living off of 500 a month.  I cannot do this anymore.  I have tried and tried again to get into a relationship but in one way or another my PTSD always destroys it.  Who wants to be with this?  I’m done…I’m done.