My mother is one of the biggest problems in my life. I haven’t been a christian
for a long time now. She did the usual things good parents try to do, but
also tried to smother me in christian values. It screwed me up because
between her and my dad, I was never good enough..
The biggest problem was not knowing if God was even real. So I had her
trying to brainwashing me(and she succeeded to a certain extent) while
I tried(unsuccessfully) to find myself.. yes, I realize other people are lost
and that I’m not alone..
..but anyway, years later, after I’ve become older, I’ve tried to talk to her
about my childhood. I did this probably for two reasons. The first reason is
that I am probably a bit resentful. The second reason is because she
never understands why I act the way I do. In the end she never understands.
She is either (a)gets angry or (b)pulls a guilt trip when I say the truth. I
start to wonder if I should just lie.. I actually hate lying(and hate liars).
I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but sometimes I wonder if I should just do it.
I guess the worst part is that I found out that Jesus and God must exist, but
I’ve stuck at that point now. If I turn to God now, she wins..
The very thought that she wins after I wasn’t even allowed to be myself like
most children.. it hurts so much!
Maybe some people understand, maybe they don’t..
If you think I’m being, stubborn and stupid.. or spoiled.. tell me..
I just want to know what someone else would do in my situation..
I mean, after all the stuff I went through with her.. now the fact that the
person that gave me all that hell growing up and the person that acted
like everything was my fault just because I wouldn’t “come to God”..
(I really tried to be a good kid too 🙁 )
THAT person will smile.. it’s so F-ing twisted..
it feels so twisted that the world should just burn!
(sorry, just emotions.. I’m not a terrorist)
and to be fair my mother did cook, clean, and stuff.. she was just a terror
in those other ways..
I really am confused and angry.. and just don’t know what to do..
and it makes knowing that there is a God seem just another pointless thing..
because she wins in the end.. it cheapens it..
It’s so hard to drop.. but maybe I should.. maybe I’m just stubborn..
I mean what do I do? say well you did all this stuff to me, but because God
exists, that’s okay? 🙁
I surprise myself everyday with the amount of stuff I don’t know how to
deal with..
3 comments
What the hell do you mean you “found out Jesus and God must exist?”
The human we refer to as “Jesus Christ,” probably existed, but we’re not even really sure. There is /ZERO/ supporting evidence for any “God” to exist.
How does one go about ‘finding out’ something that is not supported by any evidence?
I honestly think you’re being driven insane by continued exposure to religious extremism. They just keep insisting and imposing their god-based conditions, motivated by their god-delusions, keeping you off balance and confused until you finally crack, until you are unable to perform critical thinking and reasoning abilities… and then you’ll accept whatever people say, because you’ve lost your mind, because that’s what their system is built to do.
Hey shadowclone person. My mother did, and still does the same thing to me. I don’t lie to her, I just don’t say anything. Or I would keep the conversation about personal experiences about other people and not god at all. Every time I am in the car with her she would say that she has something really exciting to tell me – then it would be something about how god created people in his image to personify him or something like that; I never really pay too much attention. I am not sure if a higher force exists, I think if we as humans were supposed to definitely know about this higher power we would know of it. There is no proof.
But also, I think religion and spirituality is a very personal thing; it is absolutely none of anyone else’s business. And I have told my mom this many times. I’ve also attempted to off myself because of her close mindedness. The only conversation she can have is about god and jesus. She keeps on saying things like god is the only only only way to have life and live a fulfilling life. She also says that if you do good things but not do it through god it means nothing. So I had this conversation with her about people that are agnostic or gay for instance (which she obviously thinks is wrong) that do really good things for other people and just are good people in general, she says those good acts doesn’t have any value. But this is just her opinion. I try to hide my frustration about this. She doesn’t know that I don’t belive because she doesn’t have to. Every time she invites me to her church I just tell her that I am sorry, I am not ready yet. And “serious” things like this cannot be pushed or it will be in vain. So she kinda leaves me be; giving her the idea that I am very slowly readying myself for this. But I am not. I will never go to church.
You don’t have to lie. You don’t have to say anything, because it is personal. I think you can just tell her if she asks you straight that you don’t want to talk about it because you’re figuring it out or something. Christians in general always assume that a person cannot be happy without god, but I beg to differ. Who says that Christians have found eternal happiness, I know that’s not the point but my mom is deeply depressed and she will never completely overcome it with christ. It’s just a mechanism for her to keep her mind off of her sadness. So I’d suggest you find something that preoccupies your mind if you’re sad.
Good luck.
Christians believe or are completely convinced that god and jesus are as real as the local walmart building in/near your home (insert any physical building if you haven’t heard or seen a walmart)
They also are 100% sure the bible is the one and only true word of god from god’s lips to paper.
THese beliefs are as real to them as you are sitting there reading this – so, you say that after years of doubt or disbelief you have now found that god/jesus are true … by whatever deduction you discovered that – if that is your truth then it just “is”.
Now – like other here – I agree there is zero – not one shred of evidence that can make god/jesus/bible be factual – absence of knowing is not evidence for knowing … but i digress …
The reality is you believe you have found the “truth” … if you are convinced that there is a god then it is truth – you cannot not believe just so you can “win” over your mom – it’s as silly an argument as saying your house is not there because you just don’t want to agree with your mom – so yes – on this point you are being stubborn and childish to deny the “truth” just so you cannot lose a disagreement.
The problem i have – and as others have mentioned – is that you were right to be skeptical in the first place and somehow you’d been beat into submission to accept god as true – maybe the reason you are having such a hard time “letting your mom win” is because you really do not believe in the god/jesus you claim you just found?
Bottom line is truth is not a win/lose proposition – truth does not have win and loss columns. Truth does not care nor does it keep score – nor does truth care if you believe it or not – the earth orbits the sun – we know this truth – it is proven – the earth does not care if you choose to believe that the sun revolves around the earth
godless dawg