I dont think i can handle this anymore i just wanna die so bad i think is the only escape i have for this suffering, look like everything is bad and get worst my.My parents are monsters that just scream and beat me and treat me like shit just cuz i born for mistake ,my ex raped me when i was little and beat me all days for no reason he called me names for 3 years and then show pics of mines naked to everyone and i was forced to take that pictures or he beat me more and now i cant forget it ,2 years passed and i still dont forget the moster that forced me to give him my virginity and treated me like a animal like my parents if i can call them that .My dream is get 18 and leave this house forever but i need more 6 mouth and i dont know if i can stand this any longer ,im not good in anything i fell like nothing i do is good and everyone hate me cuz i treat everyone bad cuz i dont wanna suffer like all the people i trust make me sufferi just wanted to be happy and do a real smile and forget the fake smiles i needed to do for people think im ok and dont bother me. Just wanted that people tell me the trust and dont play with my feelings cuz i can wanna die but im still alive and that hurts when people dont care about me when i care about them a lot …
3 comments
I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this.. 6 months and you can get away from them!
don’t let yourself get all frantic.. try to keep your goal in your mind..
it can be your strength so you can survive until then..
you may have been a mistake to your parents, but you aren’t a mistake in this world..
nature decided you would be born.. so you aren’t a mistake.
you have been through a lot.. I really hope you can get away from your parents and see a counselor/support group.. my sister really got better after going to a women’s support group after she was raped.. I REALLY recommend it if you can find one.. she was so much better afterwards..
and please don’t ever talk to your ex again.. girls/women seem to forget and go back.. and then the whole cycle starts again.. it’s so sad
getting away from the negative people in your life is the first step.. the next is to start believing that you are not worthless and that you are not a mistake..
and then you can take back your pride as a person(and as a woman)
and I suppose I should tell you that a lot of people use fake smiles too.. it’s just a defense mechanism, so it’s okay.. we are humans and not perfect.. so don’t be so hard on yourself 😉
6 more months then its done so just try holding on.
Although moving out and trying to be independent won’t be easy.
thx a lot for ur help i i discover this site and is like i can understand everyone storys is really good dont know im not alone fight vs that cruel world