I read your first post..that’s exactly how I felt..except I probly wasnt as popular. I worked as a martial arts teacher through high school..but I pretty much hated myself and the world just the same.
You know..honestly..if you can’t find reason and purpose to be who you are (and who you want to be/would want to be) then getting yourself out of this void won’t amount to much anyways. You need to see that you have the power to cause an effect in people (laughter, awe, curiosity, etc) and you need to use that power and point it in the “right” direction. You have to want it..hopefully I’m just repeating what some one has already said.
Its from a song. its a reference to an old movie about a crack addict namdd pookie. I think my situation is the same as pookies fundamentally, except there is no coming back.
RT30 you have to watch the move “new jack city” and listen to “hold ya head” to understand what he is referencing. @sonseray I understand what you are trying to say
The short hand version is that the crackhead in the movie got clean and went undercover to help bust a drug king pin. The song lyrics contain the verse “I think its kinda like the crack did to Pookie… in new jack. Except when I cross over, there aint no coming back.” Its a song talking about suicide and he is saying unlike the crackhead who was able to recover and move on he isn’t able to do that and will succumb to his inner demons.
I think about dying constantly. It’s only when I’m distracted with something that it floats to the back of my mind. A lot of the time I feel worthless, useless and alone. The only thing that kept me distracted was my boyfriend and knowing that he loves me. He left back home to try and find work and he says he’s doing it for us but I just feel abandoned. I woke up with this weird hollow feeling in my stomach. All these thoughts about suicide that were on the back burner suddenly rushed back and now I feel worse then ever. I keep thinking how can I die with out pain or hurting anyone else. I have not been able to sleep or eat and I constantly burst out crying all the while not leaving my bed.
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Sounds reasonable…but why do you feel that way?
I dont want to kill myself, but ive been so close. I know ill cross that line eventually. its just a matter of how long I can stave it off.
You remind me of…Me!! lol
I read your first post..that’s exactly how I felt..except I probly wasnt as popular. I worked as a martial arts teacher through high school..but I pretty much hated myself and the world just the same.
You know..honestly..if you can’t find reason and purpose to be who you are (and who you want to be/would want to be) then getting yourself out of this void won’t amount to much anyways. You need to see that you have the power to cause an effect in people (laughter, awe, curiosity, etc) and you need to use that power and point it in the “right” direction. You have to want it..hopefully I’m just repeating what some one has already said.
Idk.. What do YOU think?
I think its kinda like the crack did to Pookie. The new jack. Except when I cross over, there aint no coming back.
…..huh?
Its from a song. its a reference to an old movie about a crack addict namdd pookie. I think my situation is the same as pookies fundamentally, except there is no coming back.
So you smoked crack? 😳
RT30 you have to watch the move “new jack city” and listen to “hold ya head” to understand what he is referencing. @sonseray I understand what you are trying to say
“movie” not move
Apparently I do! ðŸ˜
The short hand version is that the crackhead in the movie got clean and went undercover to help bust a drug king pin. The song lyrics contain the verse “I think its kinda like the crack did to Pookie… in new jack. Except when I cross over, there aint no coming back.” Its a song talking about suicide and he is saying unlike the crackhead who was able to recover and move on he isn’t able to do that and will succumb to his inner demons.
Ah!
I think about dying constantly. It’s only when I’m distracted with something that it floats to the back of my mind. A lot of the time I feel worthless, useless and alone. The only thing that kept me distracted was my boyfriend and knowing that he loves me. He left back home to try and find work and he says he’s doing it for us but I just feel abandoned. I woke up with this weird hollow feeling in my stomach. All these thoughts about suicide that were on the back burner suddenly rushed back and now I feel worse then ever. I keep thinking how can I die with out pain or hurting anyone else. I have not been able to sleep or eat and I constantly burst out crying all the while not leaving my bed.