You would think it would be ………. good=heaven…….evil=hell………. but nope its all determined on if you accepted Jesus as your savior and repent from all sin…… at least that’s what I was lead to believe when I use to go to church…and according to them it is only heaven and hell nothing in between but I don’t know if it’s 100% true….I wish we had a surefire way of knowing
@DN95 …..I agree …. I don’t understand why life has to be this way…..in the bible it says because “Adam and eve sinned against god and caused all the suffering”….. but I thought everybody was responsible for themselves…..guess not…..2 people brought destruction and death to billions upon billions of people…maybe even trillions….again that’s according to the bible …..I just wish I hadn’t been born to be subjected to all this bullshit
The bible doesn’t say that. People say the authors of the Bible *meant* to say that, and we should just trust them because they’re smart and stuff. But if you look at what the Bible does say, you find that Adam and Eve ate some fruit and made God angry, then God basically forgave them by giving them the first pair of underwear. God said, “Yo, if you eat dis here fruit, you’ll totally die and shit.” But they didn’t die – I find that rather peculiar, but if anything, it only implies that God lied to them since what he said would happen, didn’t happen.
@lorax I’m thinking he meant they will become mortal….I’m guessing they were immortal?…..but the KJV says they made the underwear out of leaves and he knew they ate the fruit because they knew they were naked…..The KJV is what most churches accept as the standard they preach by
@PainNlife; “Set off your bullshit detector”? That’s the understatement of the year.
You ever run across a talking snake? According to the bible, one tempted a woman, (universally recognized as the originator of sin – women), and eating from the Tree of Knowledge made people ashamed of public nudity .
God Damned talking snake….
Man… okay, i had a thought regarding your assertion that “set off your bullshit detector” was a profound understatement…
And i was going to add something like: “more like fry it and require a replacement…”
And then it hit me:
Maybe that was the whole point?
Maybe it’s supposed to just obliterate the BS detectors in people who have no idea how to replace or repair or re-enable them?
Maybe it was supposed to be so absolutely absurd, that people’s minds would short-circuit and commit the idea as “so crazy it must be true!”
OR, maybe it was meant to be like a “meme,” in that it was so shockingly absurd and terrifying a concept, that merely having been exposed to the idea, left a “scar” in the brain, to serve as an easily recognizable topic, or “trope,” so that no matter how outrageously wrong or absurd it might have been, people will remember it, and talk about it, and have nightmares about the mere notion of such a thing… which would ultimately result in people accepting it as “possible,” since they’re having scary dreams about it… eventually resulting in acceptance of the story, regardless of the absurdity that is quite obvious today.
The underwear issue is getting into interesting systemic theological waters. No, I’m really not kidding.. lol
Genesis 3: 21 Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed them. (God dun killed some rabbit and said, “Here’s some skin to cover your skin, bitches. I had to moider that there rabbit so feel bad about it, k? Poor rabbit had to die ‘cuz you ate that shit I said not to eat.” So… rather than Adam and Eve dying…. Furthermore, what they were wearing before were leaves, and later in the Bible two brothers got into a rivalry over what sacrifice would most please god between fruits and vegetables, and some leg of lamb. Guess which of them won?)
@clevername: Haha… exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it. 😀
@ clevername; People will believe whatever it is they want to believe. Reason, logic, experience, common sense – none of that means shit when we’re dealing with faith.
Faith requires no evidence. Scientific tools of measure can’t quantify it….this is why debates with religious folks are, IMHO, a waste of time.
Ask a Christian “do you believe in talking snakes”? The answer will be “no”, unless is happened in the bible.
It’s not just the religious debates with those ‘folks’ which are a waste of time… i am forced to assume that they can’t understand logic or reason, which means i need to avoid them unless i perceive a worthy potential gain.
Oh, and also, it says nowhere in the Genesis that Adam and Eve were immortal. It says they would die if they ate some fruit, but the rest is stuff people have read into the text because they like to make uninformed assumptions about stuff like that.
You mean like… they read into something, because they wanted it to say something that wasn’t there? Like they wanted to believe it said something it didn’t say? And that, perhaps, the entire basis for these organizations, is to encourage such things (believing what you want, or are told, rather than what is actually there)?
but what is one to assume if you read they were going to die because they ate the fruit?….I thought it meant that if they hadn’t ate it they would be alive today….
Well, a whole lot of people make shit up before even bothering to read the Bible, and they search out isolated verses that justify what they’re looking for, which is such a common cognitive bias that most people do it every day, at least once or twice. Atheists would make the best theologians, I imagine, because they really don’t give a shit one way or the other.
infidels . org has some really interesting articles about the contradictions and inconsistencies in the ‘good books.’
oh i just checked google… when you start typing “infidels . org” into the search field “bible contradictions” is one of the first auto complete results. lol.
You guys are talking about interpretation. How a person/group defines scripture forms the foundation for what they believe. How many different flavors of Christianity are there? How many separate denominations exist that all utilize the same book as their core set of beliefs?
There is so much more than clever will ever admit. I hope you find it someday sir. I’m not trying to be a dick or contradict you, but I’m sure you feel that way. You can choose to believe only what you can see, and be stuck feeling the way you do. Or you can choose to believe anything else. You have to let yourself go.
This is going back to a more previous comment about how God said they’d die but then they didn’t automatically. Basically death, deterioration and decay were never supposed to happen as God planned it but cuz Adam & Eve disobeyed and brought “original sin” into the mix, that’s why we get old and die. I guess we’d be immortal. I wonder if “be fruitful and multiply” would still be advised by the big man seeing as that would lead to hella overpopulation. Sorry, I went to catholic school so I’ve got a handle on this shit whether I like it or not.
But I’m also a woman and I love snakes so I guess I’m destined for hell.
@ scarredkitty: Where does it say that in the first few chapters of Genesis, though? I’ve read through them countless times and have seen little corroborating support for the idea.
Speaking of snakes… in my foray in landscaping today, I must have seen 8 garter snakes. I love those critters – even when they bite me. I think it’s funny when they bite me, actually… sometimes draws blood, but most of the time, they’re just gnawing away at my hands and I’m like, “…enjoying yourself, buddy?” lol
@C4: I could say god was an alien and prove it by pointing to that chapter in Ezekiel with the rings of fire and all that nonsense, but what would I really be proving? The Bible doesn’t talk about aliens, and interjecting that idea into the text makes it a helluvalot harder to understand what it actually says. It’d be like saying Montag in Fahrenheit 451 was actually a secret spy for the government and probably killed all those refugees after the book is over. It totally misses the point of the book itself.
@lorax yanno what… that’s a great question that I could only guess at. Maybe this idea was something I was spoonfed when I was younger and kind of liked that explanation so I filed it under “must be true”. Either way, I heard this explanation countless times growing up, not even sure if it’s anywhere in the bible, although if it is it’s probably written so nonsensically that this is the best explanation they came up with.
AHhh I’m very jealous, I haven’t held a snake in years it’s a true shame. Would totally own one but still not so sure cats and snakes are a great mix.
@lorax; When Johnny Cash fell into a burning ring of fire, do you suppose he was referencing scripture?
You saw snakes while landscaping. Cool. Did any of them talk to you? How come all these miracles happened 2,000 years ago? Why don’t we have miracles in this day and age? (Criss Angel doesn’t count. Yeah, so the fucker walks on water. He’s an illusionist).
Nice. I can do that trick, too.
If there’s an afterlife, I’ll buy you a shot. Meet me at the bar after you die. Look for the asshole harassing the large breasted bartender. Take a seat next to him. You can perform this trick with a free drink.
And actually, now that I think about it, in the garden of eden stood two trees, the tree of life and the tree of ‘bitches dun disobeyed me like bitches.’ What was the point of the tree of life? O.o
God says at the end of Genesis 3, whilst having a schizophrenic episode… “And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever –” therefore the Lord God sent him out of the garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken.
“How a person/group defines scripture forms the foundation for what they believe.”
Okay… so if “God” had a message, did he intend for it to be understood, or ambiguously interpreted in whatever way the eventual reader might prefer?
Is the word of god important? Or is only each personal interpretation important?
@IFM&Y:
“There is so much more than clever will ever admit.”
I can’t admit what i don’t know, and i can’t admit what doesn’t exist. I can’t admit that a never-substantiated or evidenced claim, that cannot be observed to be true through testable reality, is actually true.
By saying “there is no indication that any God exists,” i am not saying “only what we can see, exists.” There is a grey area, and you have to accept that, or your opinion, which is based on irrationalizations, is actually invalid. I do not have to accept invalid opinions. No one does. I do not have to “admit” anything that is not a reasonably justifiable and evidenced claim.
There is no evidence to indicate or suggest that God is actually real, therefore, there is nothing to “admit.”
Some people have neither the luxury for, nor the inclination toward, simply deciding to believe whatever they want, despite zero existing indications that it might actually be true. The very notion of such a thing is completely absurd.
“Letting myself go” is the quickest way to ensure failure.
@lorax…..hmmmm you know what I never thought about that……why would the tree of life be needed if death wasn’t even a thing yet? unless he knew they would disobey him….but then does free will really exist if he KNEW way before hand they would disobey him?….ah my brain aches
37 comments
You would think it would be ………. good=heaven…….evil=hell………. but nope its all determined on if you accepted Jesus as your savior and repent from all sin…… at least that’s what I was lead to believe when I use to go to church…and according to them it is only heaven and hell nothing in between but I don’t know if it’s 100% true….I wish we had a surefire way of knowing
I’m starting to think that life is the closest thing to Hell, to be honest.
Life is a set of experiences some good some bad…..!!!!
@DN95 …..I agree …. I don’t understand why life has to be this way…..in the bible it says because “Adam and eve sinned against god and caused all the suffering”….. but I thought everybody was responsible for themselves…..guess not…..2 people brought destruction and death to billions upon billions of people…maybe even trillions….again that’s according to the bible …..I just wish I hadn’t been born to be subjected to all this bullshit
The bible doesn’t say that. People say the authors of the Bible *meant* to say that, and we should just trust them because they’re smart and stuff. But if you look at what the Bible does say, you find that Adam and Eve ate some fruit and made God angry, then God basically forgave them by giving them the first pair of underwear. God said, “Yo, if you eat dis here fruit, you’ll totally die and shit.” But they didn’t die – I find that rather peculiar, but if anything, it only implies that God lied to them since what he said would happen, didn’t happen.
I can’t understand how anybody could doubt the credibility of a story that features a talking snake.
@lorax I’m thinking he meant they will become mortal….I’m guessing they were immortal?…..but the KJV says they made the underwear out of leaves and he knew they ate the fruit because they knew they were naked…..The KJV is what most churches accept as the standard they preach by
@C4 lol…..I mean some of the stories do set off your bullshit detector
@lorax:
is it hilarious that i read your god quote in a satirical rocky balboa voice?
@PainNlife; “Set off your bullshit detector”? That’s the understatement of the year.
You ever run across a talking snake? According to the bible, one tempted a woman, (universally recognized as the originator of sin – women), and eating from the Tree of Knowledge made people ashamed of public nudity .
God Damned talking snake….
@C4 lol! nope but perhaps it was a talking parrot and somebody just got the animals mixed up
@C4:
Man… okay, i had a thought regarding your assertion that “set off your bullshit detector” was a profound understatement…
And i was going to add something like: “more like fry it and require a replacement…”
And then it hit me:
Maybe that was the whole point?
Maybe it’s supposed to just obliterate the BS detectors in people who have no idea how to replace or repair or re-enable them?
Maybe it was supposed to be so absolutely absurd, that people’s minds would short-circuit and commit the idea as “so crazy it must be true!”
OR, maybe it was meant to be like a “meme,” in that it was so shockingly absurd and terrifying a concept, that merely having been exposed to the idea, left a “scar” in the brain, to serve as an easily recognizable topic, or “trope,” so that no matter how outrageously wrong or absurd it might have been, people will remember it, and talk about it, and have nightmares about the mere notion of such a thing… which would ultimately result in people accepting it as “possible,” since they’re having scary dreams about it… eventually resulting in acceptance of the story, regardless of the absurdity that is quite obvious today.
@PainNlife:
The underwear issue is getting into interesting systemic theological waters. No, I’m really not kidding.. lol
Genesis 3: 21 Also for Adam and his wife the Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed them. (God dun killed some rabbit and said, “Here’s some skin to cover your skin, bitches. I had to moider that there rabbit so feel bad about it, k? Poor rabbit had to die ‘cuz you ate that shit I said not to eat.” So… rather than Adam and Eve dying…. Furthermore, what they were wearing before were leaves, and later in the Bible two brothers got into a rivalry over what sacrifice would most please god between fruits and vegetables, and some leg of lamb. Guess which of them won?)
@clevername: Haha… exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it. 😀
@ clevername; People will believe whatever it is they want to believe. Reason, logic, experience, common sense – none of that means shit when we’re dealing with faith.
Faith requires no evidence. Scientific tools of measure can’t quantify it….this is why debates with religious folks are, IMHO, a waste of time.
Ask a Christian “do you believe in talking snakes”? The answer will be “no”, unless is happened in the bible.
Hah! awesome. 🙂
@C4:
It’s not just the religious debates with those ‘folks’ which are a waste of time… i am forced to assume that they can’t understand logic or reason, which means i need to avoid them unless i perceive a worthy potential gain.
Oh, and also, it says nowhere in the Genesis that Adam and Eve were immortal. It says they would die if they ate some fruit, but the rest is stuff people have read into the text because they like to make uninformed assumptions about stuff like that.
@lorax LOL stop with the “god said” they are funny as hell especially when clevername said he read the first one in a rocky voice lol…
@lorax:
You mean like… they read into something, because they wanted it to say something that wasn’t there? Like they wanted to believe it said something it didn’t say? And that, perhaps, the entire basis for these organizations, is to encourage such things (believing what you want, or are told, rather than what is actually there)?
You may be onto something… systemic, indeed.
but what is one to assume if you read they were going to die because they ate the fruit?….I thought it meant that if they hadn’t ate it they would be alive today….
Well, a whole lot of people make shit up before even bothering to read the Bible, and they search out isolated verses that justify what they’re looking for, which is such a common cognitive bias that most people do it every day, at least once or twice. Atheists would make the best theologians, I imagine, because they really don’t give a shit one way or the other.
infidels . org has some really interesting articles about the contradictions and inconsistencies in the ‘good books.’
oh i just checked google… when you start typing “infidels . org” into the search field “bible contradictions” is one of the first auto complete results. lol.
@PainNlife: I dunno… the Bible is pretty ambiguous on that point. lol
“Atheists would make the best theologians…”
And many would say that reading the Bible makes the best Atheists. lol. 😉
You guys are talking about interpretation. How a person/group defines scripture forms the foundation for what they believe. How many different flavors of Christianity are there? How many separate denominations exist that all utilize the same book as their core set of beliefs?
There is so much more than clever will ever admit. I hope you find it someday sir. I’m not trying to be a dick or contradict you, but I’m sure you feel that way. You can choose to believe only what you can see, and be stuck feeling the way you do. Or you can choose to believe anything else. You have to let yourself go.
This is going back to a more previous comment about how God said they’d die but then they didn’t automatically. Basically death, deterioration and decay were never supposed to happen as God planned it but cuz Adam & Eve disobeyed and brought “original sin” into the mix, that’s why we get old and die. I guess we’d be immortal. I wonder if “be fruitful and multiply” would still be advised by the big man seeing as that would lead to hella overpopulation. Sorry, I went to catholic school so I’ve got a handle on this shit whether I like it or not.
But I’m also a woman and I love snakes so I guess I’m destined for hell.
@ scarredkitty: Where does it say that in the first few chapters of Genesis, though? I’ve read through them countless times and have seen little corroborating support for the idea.
Speaking of snakes… in my foray in landscaping today, I must have seen 8 garter snakes. I love those critters – even when they bite me. I think it’s funny when they bite me, actually… sometimes draws blood, but most of the time, they’re just gnawing away at my hands and I’m like, “…enjoying yourself, buddy?” lol
@C4: I could say god was an alien and prove it by pointing to that chapter in Ezekiel with the rings of fire and all that nonsense, but what would I really be proving? The Bible doesn’t talk about aliens, and interjecting that idea into the text makes it a helluvalot harder to understand what it actually says. It’d be like saying Montag in Fahrenheit 451 was actually a secret spy for the government and probably killed all those refugees after the book is over. It totally misses the point of the book itself.
@lorax yanno what… that’s a great question that I could only guess at. Maybe this idea was something I was spoonfed when I was younger and kind of liked that explanation so I filed it under “must be true”. Either way, I heard this explanation countless times growing up, not even sure if it’s anywhere in the bible, although if it is it’s probably written so nonsensically that this is the best explanation they came up with.
AHhh I’m very jealous, I haven’t held a snake in years it’s a true shame. Would totally own one but still not so sure cats and snakes are a great mix.
@lorax; When Johnny Cash fell into a burning ring of fire, do you suppose he was referencing scripture?
You saw snakes while landscaping. Cool. Did any of them talk to you? How come all these miracles happened 2,000 years ago? Why don’t we have miracles in this day and age? (Criss Angel doesn’t count. Yeah, so the fucker walks on water. He’s an illusionist).
I am about to perform a miracle. I will make this beer disappear….
….see? It’s gone. It’s magic….
😮
Nice. I can do that trick, too.
If there’s an afterlife, I’ll buy you a shot. Meet me at the bar after you die. Look for the asshole harassing the large breasted bartender. Take a seat next to him. You can perform this trick with a free drink.
And actually, now that I think about it, in the garden of eden stood two trees, the tree of life and the tree of ‘bitches dun disobeyed me like bitches.’ What was the point of the tree of life? O.o
God says at the end of Genesis 3, whilst having a schizophrenic episode… “And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever –” therefore the Lord God sent him out of the garden of Eden to till the ground from which he was taken.
Me like whiskey almost as much as me like beer.
@C4:
“How a person/group defines scripture forms the foundation for what they believe.”
Okay… so if “God” had a message, did he intend for it to be understood, or ambiguously interpreted in whatever way the eventual reader might prefer?
Is the word of god important? Or is only each personal interpretation important?
@IFM&Y:
“There is so much more than clever will ever admit.”
I can’t admit what i don’t know, and i can’t admit what doesn’t exist. I can’t admit that a never-substantiated or evidenced claim, that cannot be observed to be true through testable reality, is actually true.
By saying “there is no indication that any God exists,” i am not saying “only what we can see, exists.” There is a grey area, and you have to accept that, or your opinion, which is based on irrationalizations, is actually invalid. I do not have to accept invalid opinions. No one does. I do not have to “admit” anything that is not a reasonably justifiable and evidenced claim.
There is no evidence to indicate or suggest that God is actually real, therefore, there is nothing to “admit.”
Some people have neither the luxury for, nor the inclination toward, simply deciding to believe whatever they want, despite zero existing indications that it might actually be true. The very notion of such a thing is completely absurd.
“Letting myself go” is the quickest way to ensure failure.
@lorax…..hmmmm you know what I never thought about that……why would the tree of life be needed if death wasn’t even a thing yet? unless he knew they would disobey him….but then does free will really exist if he KNEW way before hand they would disobey him?….ah my brain aches
@PainNlife:
“ah my brain aches”
And thus, the chains were bound…