When I was four, my mother killed herself. All my life, I was told that she had died of cancer.
When I was 15, I had a flashback. I saw a woman hanging, I hear myself scream and not be able to stop. I remember my brother taking me to the neighbour’s house.
I asked my dad if she had killed herself, and I was right, she did. Now I’m 17, and I’m unbelievable desperate for answers. My ptsd triggers my anxiety, I have severe ocd, I was diagnosed with the bipolar disorder (type 2, like my mother). I feel like my life is falling apart but all I care about is getting answers. My father says there was a suicide note, but I’m not allowed to see it. She didn’t eave anything else behind for me. and if there is it’s being hidden. I hate this, I want answers, because my mother is gone and I don’t know why she left.
I feel like such a failure, like I could have done something to save her.
3 comments
Don’t. You were four. There was nothing you could have done.
Maybe you should explain to your father how badly you want to see the note and keep asking for it.
I hope you get answers soon,
*Viritual hug*
It’s no use. Even if he did have it, it’d be 20 hours away, locked up in a storage unit.
Knowing him he probably threw it out.