Can’t Do This Anymore

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend to put on a brave face when inside I wanna cry. I can’t live like this. I can’t keep my head above water. I am drowning and feel like I can’t swim. No one listens. No one cares. I am useless. What do I contribute to anything? I can’t and don’t want to feel like this. I see everyone around me that has a great life, while I’m stuck here underground. Y the fuck do I have to keep living. I’ve tried to not, but keep getting dragged back. I’ve been told its bc I have a reason to be here, but idk what reason I would have. I jus want to stop hurting. I want to stop being alone and I want to stop crying…inside and out. No one understands how hurt I am…and like I said no one cares. I jus want it to STOP