I’m 22 years old, going to school for music and I’ve decided to kill myself because I’ve only been with one girl, and that was pretty much a fluke. I’ve watched every cute girl I’ve ever liked sleep around with everyone, get tired of it, and decide to settle down with some tall blonde guy without even knowing I exist. I’ve watched that shit happen so many times.
I’m not even good enough to find a fuck buddy, or someone to hook up with for just a one night stand. I spent the summer developing my body to become muscular, I’m wearing all the right clothes, I have the right hair, I’m going to all the right parties and bars and I’m emulating the alpha males as much as I can. I’m trying as hard as I fucking can because I need this, I NEED sexuality. Every time I see a cute blonde girl hook up with another frat douchebag, I die a little inside. I don’t know how to find a hooker, dating websites are full of ugly people and they don’t work for me anyway, and I refuse to spend another year with nothing but masturbation.
I’m naturally shy, when I force myself to be confident people laugh and it just doesn’t work. If I was a girl, that would be okay, I just need to be sexy and someone will find me. But as a guy my personality and lack of confidence is destroying everything. So fuck it. I’m done with this world. Sex is a physical, mental and psychological need for me, and when prostitution is outlawed and this society doesn’t allow males who aren’t naturally confident to find a mate, there is no hope.
I hope that my death will open people’s eyes a little bit. My college will spend thousands of dollars and have all these programs to help LGBTs and minorities feel accepted, have all these conferences and posters on safe sex and sexual abuse, but there is no support, no understanding, no help whatsoever for the condition I have. Maybe that will change one day.
5 comments
Sweet little thing if your virginity is what is bugging you may i refer you to craigslist , i am sure there is some creepy old cougar out there who would love to take it off your hands
Hey buddy, I think you’re just not attracting the right kind of girl. Personally, I think shy dudes are cute. You’re going out to parties where you’re probably surrounded by the more extroverted chicks, who then end up with all the extroverted guys. But you’re in a different field and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I would think that someone like you would actually have more luck on a dating site. You think everyone is ugly – well, maybe try joining a few more sites. There’s gotta be attractive women somewhere, and somebody who’d suit you is probably at home painting or baking or something, not out partying. I know you’re going for a specific type – the blonde carefree sort – but if you’re willing to put aside these expectations, you just might find a nice redhead, or brunette, or somebody of another race, like an Asian (Asians are hot, and their cultures are more introverted). Get out there (or, on them websites). Don’t die yet, you sound like a decent sort.
Good luck.
I could have written something very similar to this a decade ago.
Your content sparks some thought about connected issues…
All i can really offer is that if you’ve got all your ducks in a row, try to work on self-assurance, and building your confidence. Try to always choose a defensible stance on any issue. Try to connect with others who share interests.
That said: why would you be interested in a girl who wants to sleep around until she finds the right “stud?” Doesn’t seem like you prefer that set of characteristics, so those are most likely not your type.
And i realize it’s discouraging to do the math and realize how many potential options that precludes… but as they say: “there’s no accounting for taste.” People want what they want. Most females do indeed seem to follow a very predictable process and have similar priorities in finding mates. You’ll just have to find one whose priorities are more aligned with who and what you are. But the caveat is: that might not exist. I know i haven’t found such a thing for myself, and when i attempt to express the ways i see things working, i get demonized and everyone goes into affronted denial. At first i’m infuriated by this, but then i can’t help but laugh at them.
That debate always seems to devolve into them trying to justify treating non-alphas like non-humans. And then they want to talk about “oppression” or “discrimination.”
Honestly, it doesn’t have to be this complicated.
But that’s the way “the game” is designed. It’s easy for the people they meant to make it easy for, and profoundly frustrating for anyone else.
No one wants to invest in something they don’t think will develop into worthwhile gains.
We can’t expect people to offer support to something they don’t want to support. We can, however, expect them to advance any agenda that benefits them, regardless of any cost to others, especially any cost to others they’re unwilling to support.
Without getting into the politics of men/women dynamics, let me try to posit a different tack that i found that helped me work through my “introverted shyness”. But first let me say that Persephone has brought up excellent observations in that super outgoing people just don’t “see” the wall flowers (introverted/shy) … like gravitates to like … so you want to be more observant of your surroundings and look for those women who are hiding in the corner because their flamboyant partygirl friend dragged them to the party … go sit with THAT girl and strike up a conversation – worst they can say is “no”
One thing i always found was … the harder you try to say/do the right thing to get laid, the less likely it will happen … it’s too transparent – especially for people who that kind of rap doesn’t come natural to … instead of “trying to get laid” … simply try to make acquaintances and hopefully friends – discuss platonic topics with a light smattering of innocent compliments (I love your hair, your eyes have an alluring sparkle … sorry, just had to say that, tell me more about your physics class)
Now the point i was getting at and i kind of touched on it … every alpha man needs a smart, interesting wingman who can run interference with the party-girl’s friends – the women alpha male is NOT interested in. But the alpha males don’t like hanging with guys who give serious competition … they need a guy – a team mate that will help them without overshadowing them … the key here is if you can find a decent guy who isn’t a complete chauvinist pig to roll with you WILL gain the “fallout”.
Bottom line quit trying to be who you are NOT … and start working withing the constraints of who you ARE … if you’re a musician (even a mediocre one) all you need learn is a few deep soulful romantic songs to woo the babes and they will throw themselves at you … and your shyness will give the allure of “not being a dog” like the normal alphas … chicks dig musicians with morals and respect for women … you CAN do this
wingman dawg
To add … the reason to roll with a decent alpha male is to also learn what works and what doesn’t … the experience can’t help but to rub off to some degree.
Clevername is spot (most of his offering is on target if you stay above the politics) on with picking your targets with commonality of values in mind – behavior can demonstrate who has potential and who does not – i disagree with him when he says “one might not exist” … i’m old, broke, broken and have bad teeth … and i wasn’t even looking when i by chance met the woman i’m dating … i was keenly away of my insurmountable shortcomings … but she saw past all that and saw my kindness towards animals and intelligence and thoughtfulness as the higher priority qualities … and having been married (more than once and also divorced) clearly there IS a match for everyone … they just may be few and far between … but that said, sometimes a healthy reassessment of your criteria may be in order – oftentimes we get distracted by loud and flashy … while this may grab our attention initially, it is not always very good for compatibility
Casanova dawg