I’ve been suicidal since I was eleven. I’m not going to lie, or sugar coat it. Life just sucks sometimes, and there’s nothing we can do about it but help ourselves in any way we think we can.
It started with my mom /verbally abusing/ me. She’d say things like, “you honestly need to get with it, [my name.] Things are not that bad and there is no reason for you to act like such a p*ssy.” It got worse. I tried to handle it. A lot went on since then and now. I’ve been homeless for over three months, have gone to school during that time, and acted like nothing has happened. Now, hear me out.
I AM AFRAID OF COUNSILLORS. I probably always will be. The fact that they have the ability to take you away from your home, where you most feel comfortable (at least at night), is appalling. I was in fifth grade when I went to my first councillor. I was terrified, and probably looked it, too.
But I wanted to say it gets OKAY. I have cut, I have burned, I have binged, I have tried to make myself physically sick to get out of school where the people with the criticizing looks were.
But I (kind of) got through it. Councillors are (still) terrifying to me.
But in the summer I was fourteen, I attempted to commit suicide. Slits across my arms zig-zagging, and all along my legs, with an unhealthy (obviously) amount of Advil sitting in my stomach.
IT GETS OKAY. I am still here. I am okay. I am still fighting it, but I am okay.
And for now, that’s all it takes to get better, right?
You can do it. <3 I love you.