When I hear other people’s stories of depression, anxiety and suicide, I feel like I have no reason to feel the way I do. Although my life is not one to be desired, there isn’t anything wrong with my life and yet maybe I feel that makes things worse, because I don’t know how to fix things, how to make myself be happy, when I should be happy. I’m tired. Tired of a life where everything looks bleak and everything seems so pointless and no amount of pills can change that. I’m tired of life yet scared of death. So here I am stuck in life but not living.
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If you didn’t have a reason to feel the way you do, you wouldn’t. The question, rather, is how malleable those reasons are.
What I’m saying: don’t give yourself more problems by thinking you don’t deserve to feel as you do.
I guess you are right, I must have reasons but my issue is I don’t know what these reasons are and therefore I can’t fix them. You are right though I just cause more problems for myself.
I’m tired of life yet scared of death. So here I am stuck in life but not living.
Me too. 🙁
I just tried it again, I did it before and ended up in the emergency room….another time I went driving to work and ended up in a hotel room by the beach, i woke up the next day It just keeps getting worse, i want it to stop! i can’t keep a job i can’t keep anything in my life i just let it go, don’t care anymore and now i am so tired to try to put it back together again because i know some how i will fuck it up and make it go away again my life is the roller coaster ride from hell with one day up and one day down extremes . I tried all the meds they have given me to no avail now i watch the days go by helpless to how i feel watching my friends watch me and shake there heads and ask what is wrong with you! they don’t know the silent shit that goes on in my head daily just tired man, but this is the first time i reached out since i talked to the shrink who was giving me meds I know i have to do something and get it out of me i want to fight back my heart tells me to do so I got this fantasy that i matter so i just keep going….
I feel the exact same as you. Nothing especially bad has actually happened to me but I just hate my life anyway, it makes me feel so guilty for feeling like that but I guess we just can’t help it. I’m too tired of life as everything just seems so pointless when death is inevitable anyway, and I’m too scared and shy to just give up on everything and to just do whatever I want.
“Everything seems so pointless when death is inevitable anyway” that’s the exact thought that drowns me every day. Why bother to do anything when in the end it means nothing, when you are gone you are just nothing? I guess that’s the type of thought we should be trying to suppress.
“Why bother to do anything when in the end it means nothing…?”
Because of what it means while you’re in the act of doing it, while you’re alive to do so.
But what you are saying there is a feeling I strive to have, but it’s not a feeling you can fake and force yourself to have, when every day you already feel dead inside, that just getting out of bed takes all the strength you have. If I was in the mindset of ‘I’m alive, I can go out and do what I want and be grateful that I’m alive and doing it’ I wouldn’t be here contemplating my feelings of wanting to die. I understand what you are saying though, but I can’t change how I feel on the basis of you saying that
JustCharlie,
I know the feeling. But then I think, well death is inevitable in any case. Correct. But it’s the time. You don’t want to spend every day next hmm…don’t know hold are you but we funny human creatures tend to live longer now so you can just do nothing or you can say that hey at least I tried. Also maybe you think that well that you aren’t going to be here that long. Most likely you will.
I don’t know. I don’t have any goals for my life either but I don’t know. Maybe we think too much and do too little and make this huge spider web in our heads, that we are good in avoiding but eventually get caught.
That’s a good way of looking at it, a web we all get caught up in. I agree with you, honestly I agree with everyone saying you can’t have a mindset of eventually we will die and hey I’m certainly not spending my days doing nothing, I go to University and work part time and I’m working towards a career goal. I’m not sat at home everyday doing nothing and saying “I can’t be bothered to do anything because I’m going to die soon” but that doesn’t change the fact that life and the future seems bleak and pointless to me, maybe not to you guys but to me it does and I apologise for feeling this way and having this view but I guess that’s why I came here to get these feelings out.
Wow- im new to this thing (like i seriously just signed up two minutes ago). I’m so glad there are people like me too. I read ‘I’m tired’ and that’s exactly how I feel. My parents don’t care that I think I’m depressed. I’m realizing that I’m starting to hate my dad because of it. My family is super religious and my dad thinks that it’s because I watched a movie that was ‘demonic’ or something. I’ve been to a psychologist about it but she was no help. She kept changing her mind on ‘what’ exactly I ‘had’. At first she was saying that I might have some sort of social anxiety then she was like no your too sociable to have that. Then she started to say that I might have a personality disorder. Then she changed her mind again and said that I have major depression and anxiety. She kept saying to ‘think positive’ and ‘connect with people more’ and I was all like well um yeah I could’ve come up with that myself- the only problem is that I feel like I don’t know how to anymore. I think the only reason that I haven’t tried to OD or anything like that is because I’m scared. And also because it would hurt my mum. Her mother commited suicide when she was very young.
JustCharlie,
Hey, well you have complete right to feel that way. Personally, I find “What’s the meaning of life” very silly question. Life in itself is pretty random thing that happens. It should be like “What’s your meaning in here” because okay you could give some cool answer (Lana Del Ray voice) Because we were born die but that doesn’t quite work unless one could kill self without this life thingy in between. And you can still always do something. No one is counting the tries. And then, maybe, eventually you’ll be some great rockstar/writer/world leader! Keep swimming!
Thank you, it’s nice for someone to be giving support and advice through cultural references of Lana Del Ray and Finding Nemo
Nice from you to catch it. P.S. And just wait until Finding Dory hits movie theatres