I’ve never had a particularly easy life. Up until about year 10 I didn’t really have any friends, and was bullied a lot. I contemplated suicide a lot back then. After that, things started to get a little better. I thought my life was starting to improve, things were finally the way I wanted them. I had (admittedly not many) friends, and the bullying had for the most part stopped. I was bright, I had friends, things were looking good.
My home life had never been too easy either, my parents had been VERY strict up until I was about 14, basically sheilding me from the world (no watching the news, no movies other than G rated, ‘watering down’ the news if we ever talked about it etc). Again, after all that was (for the most part) gone, I felt like things were getting better. Then my mum basically turned into a psycho, controlling *****, constantly angry and rude, and needing to know every minute aspect of my life (including what i’m eating, and what me and my sister talk about). She didn’t work so I was exposed to it whenever I was at home. It’s emotionally draining to say the least, and my dad refused to believe it was happening, or made excuses or supported it.
I ended up failing my HSC, didn’t get into uni, being an embarrassment to my parents in a family where academic results and careers are everything, many of my relatives are or were doctors, lawyers, bankers and engineers. We’re not Asian or Indian or Jewish or anything, my extended family are just a bunch of snobs, that’s all.
Then there was this girl that dragged me through the mud to say the least. She was all cutesy with me (we weren’t going out, but just about everyone reckoned she liked me, and I liked her), and then I found out she had a boyfriend, she didnt even tell me. Couple of weeks later, she ditched him (she never said anything about him to me, I found out via someone else), and then she was even more ‘cutesy’ with me for a couple of weeks. And then she just started ignoring me, not replying to my texts or messages or anything. Nothing happened. She was just a fucking *****. I was considering suicide before this, with the HSC and all that, but this has really pushed me over the edge. I just want to be free, i’m sick of my life. I have nobody to talk to about this, any talk with my parents or family about relationships is awkward and they treat me like a 12 year old having their first crush. I don’t have any real friends to talk to about it either. I’m alone, I hate this life. I just want it all to be over, I just want to be free of all this bullshit.
9 comments
Why do people say “asian OR indian”? Is Indian not Asian to the outside world?
@noonoo12; That’s a good question. I guess most people consider “Asian” to mean Chinese, Japanese, Korean or Mongolian. India on the other hand sort of has their own thing going on. Technically you could say the people from Iran or Iraq are also Asian, but you seldom hear that.
Idk. In the minds of many people Asian is more specific than it maybe should be.
I didnt mean that to be racist, I live in Australia where ‘Asian’ refers to Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Japanese, Cambodian, Filipino, Malaysian, Indonesian etc. ‘Indian’ here refers to Indians, Bangladeshis, Pakistanis, Sri Lankans, Nepalis etc.
@Eureka You deleted your post? I just typed out a reply. Oh well.
I wasn’t trying to say it was racist. It’s not, in my opinion. I was just wondering why people only refer to “chinks” (that’s probably racist or offensive, but this is the internet; what do I care?) as Asian.
I didn’t know that Australians think of all brown people as Indian though. That’s new to me.
Coincidentally I am having Indian food this evening. I just refer to East Asians as such and people from India as Indians, rather than Asians. That seems to be what people typically do.
Australians often generalise like that, its based on the most dominant nationality of that race living in Australia. For example, East Asians are often referred to as ‘Chinese’, even if they aren’t, although this isn’t as prelevant as it used to be. South Asian people are commonly referred to as ‘Indians’ if their specific background isn’t known. Arabs are referred to as ‘Lebanese’, as the Lebanese are the most dominant Arab group in Australia. Black Africans are often referred to as ‘Sudanese’ for the same reason.
@SeaFloor (Saw your comment in moderation).
Right. I won’t try to start a conversation then. Maybe I’ll go watch a movie or something.
@fuckthisshit; Dude, you didn’t do anything wrong. I refer to people from India as Indians, and if I can’t tell what nationality/race some is, but they look Asian, I just say Asian. It’s not racist, dude, just semantics. You’re fine, don’t worry about it.