Sorry anukh, our monthly suicide meet was last Saturday. You can try to make it to the next one. It will be between the green dumpsters behind the Denny’s on Wilma Rudolf Blvd. You must r.s.v.p. and bring your own ice pick.
@Scar How morbid. Why don’t we all crash an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting instead and run off with all their donuts? Half of us suicidals are alcoholics-in-denial anyway, we deserve those donuts just as much as they do. We can then start our own Fight Club except instead of beating up each other we can play charades and watch game shows from the 50’s.
You know what, that’s an even better idea. Let’s do that. I’ll hit the distinguished gentleman’s club where they discuss politics and social criticism and snatch their whiskey/scotch and such, you can go in the opposite direction and steal all the gin and vodka from the ladies bridge game meetups. As a last resort, we can raid the bingo hall. They must have some beer at least.
Oh Persephone, you are my favorite pagan femaleman on SP. Are you arm wrestling sailors in a pub down by the dock right now, or are you already stumbling down the road with a 40 oz bottle of liquor in a paper bag?
The sailors were being a bit grope-y, so I kicked ’em in the nuts and ran. I’m actually waiting outside the bingo hall right now. I plan on conning some drunk old lady out of her life’s savings. I’ll also offer to take her poodle for walks because no matter my machisma, I’m really a marshmallow on the inside.
Aw, how sweet of you. I don’t often get opportunities to give back to my community; then again, I did shave today for the first time in two years. Anyway, I can’t make it to the bingo hall tonight, so save me an old lady or two.
Also, pro tip: if you steal one of those signs at museums that say “Do not touch the exhibit,” and wear it like a necklace, it will greatly reduce the amount of foot to testicle interaction you have to deal with on your midnight excursions.
Will do. I had been thinking of donning a ‘Caution: Wet Paint’ sign, but maybe that wouldn’t have the same effect. Dunno. I could always pick up a witch’s hat and wear that on a regular basis. That would scare away the sailors, but then I’ll have to contend with all the emo dudes… Marilyn Manson vs. sea shanties? Tough choice.
13 comments
eventually we all will, one way or another! so there’s something.
ask your problems….hehe
Everybody dies….
This isn’t some kind of cult where everyone joins a suicide pact and tops themselves, if that’s what you’re asking.
Sorry anukh, our monthly suicide meet was last Saturday. You can try to make it to the next one. It will be between the green dumpsters behind the Denny’s on Wilma Rudolf Blvd. You must r.s.v.p. and bring your own ice pick.
@Scar How morbid. Why don’t we all crash an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting instead and run off with all their donuts? Half of us suicidals are alcoholics-in-denial anyway, we deserve those donuts just as much as they do. We can then start our own Fight Club except instead of beating up each other we can play charades and watch game shows from the 50’s.
Charades would be too easy. Everyone here is so good at pretending: like pretending to give a damn. Twister maybe?
Anyway, I would rather crash a Donuholics Anonymous meeting and run off with all their booze.
Ok, Twister sounds good.
You know what, that’s an even better idea. Let’s do that. I’ll hit the distinguished gentleman’s club where they discuss politics and social criticism and snatch their whiskey/scotch and such, you can go in the opposite direction and steal all the gin and vodka from the ladies bridge game meetups. As a last resort, we can raid the bingo hall. They must have some beer at least.
Oh Persephone, you are my favorite pagan femaleman on SP. Are you arm wrestling sailors in a pub down by the dock right now, or are you already stumbling down the road with a 40 oz bottle of liquor in a paper bag?
The sailors were being a bit grope-y, so I kicked ’em in the nuts and ran. I’m actually waiting outside the bingo hall right now. I plan on conning some drunk old lady out of her life’s savings. I’ll also offer to take her poodle for walks because no matter my machisma, I’m really a marshmallow on the inside.
Yes everyone dies. It would probably suck to be immortal.
Aw, how sweet of you. I don’t often get opportunities to give back to my community; then again, I did shave today for the first time in two years. Anyway, I can’t make it to the bingo hall tonight, so save me an old lady or two.
Also, pro tip: if you steal one of those signs at museums that say “Do not touch the exhibit,” and wear it like a necklace, it will greatly reduce the amount of foot to testicle interaction you have to deal with on your midnight excursions.
Will do. I had been thinking of donning a ‘Caution: Wet Paint’ sign, but maybe that wouldn’t have the same effect. Dunno. I could always pick up a witch’s hat and wear that on a regular basis. That would scare away the sailors, but then I’ll have to contend with all the emo dudes… Marilyn Manson vs. sea shanties? Tough choice.