On occasion, I self-harm. Sometimes I know why, sometimes I don’t.
Sometimes I feel like the worst part of harming isn’t the scars, or the guilt over doing something ‘wrong’.
It’s when I don’t cut deep enough. It’s when I don’t think I’ve seen enough blood.
How strange it is to feel like a failure at failing yourself.
2 comments
i feel like that too but for a different reason.. :/ the main reason i self harm is so the next day i can give myself a reason, a validation for caring for myself. and most of the time i just crisscross a million little cuts and care for two days. it doesnt last long enough ://
That is how it is with cutting.. The blood and pain possess you, it is all you can think off. You feel like you couldn’t live without it, like it is all you life for.
It’s sad, really. Crazy even.