It’s nighttime here and I’m seriously depressed. I’m trying to not let myself get too bad, but I’m all alone and that’s when things so so bad for me. I have no one to talk to and I find myself just staring at the tv blankly just thinking of things I shouldn’t be. I feel a panic attack that is right under the skin, ready to come out. I am trying reeeally hard to fight it, but I have nothing to get my thoughts elsewhere. Idk, maybe I am jus crazy…That’s the way I feel anyway. I hate always feeling like this. I wish it would all just stop. I want no more bad thoughts, no more pain…physically and mentally, and I the thing I want most is to not feel and be alone.
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Never alone when you post here it seems that there is always someone to talk to here who will at least try to give a damn and it has more comedy and drama than tv
Dear Zeb, many of us have been there and know exactly how it feels. I wish I could reach over and give you a hug. For now remember that this phase doesn’t last; we always come out of it. This is just our imagination suggesting the worst. If you can gather enough awareness to remind yourself that this is just a passing phenomenon, it will make it a little less horrible to ride through. I don’t mean to say it’s easy, but it’s been known to work for some people.
I would give anything to not be so sad. I can’t make my mind stop thinking. Thinking of things that happened in the past. I cant change them, but yet they haunt me. I want to know y I am even here. What is my purpose? Y did my 2 suicide a attempts not work? Y am I still here…still hurting. Years it’s been since I’ve been happy. I don’t want much, I don’t want to be rich or famous, I just want to matter to those who matter most to me. But I feel so horrible about myself all the time…I look at myself and see someone who is fat, ugly, pathetic, needy, and not worth the skin I’m in. And it seems others feel the same. All I want is to matter………..
ZG Why is a futile question try asking how – how can i feel useful how can i get people to listen to me – then you may find some answers i truly believe we all have good qualities but for some of us we tend to focus on the bad ones there are people who give a damn about you out there and wil accept the good with the bad
Promise that kyou are not alone i messed up attempts multiple times and am trying now to take it as a sign that im meant to try something else to sort my life out trying is all we can do but know i care and will be here to listen when trying gets tough
U have no idea how much that means to me…I know I have goods qualities, but I do focus on negatives. I know that I am a really sweet person who would do anything for anyone. I really would. And I really did feel like no one listens to me…they don’t see me for me. They use my kindness for their gain. Then I feel useless. The problem is, I don’t have anyone else. I have 1 person who no matter what loves me for me. However, I don’t get to see or talk to him much…So when I don’t see him I have the others around me. 90% of the time I feel horrible about being who I am. And I never have anyone to talk to about this. Like I said, no one listens…or cares
Ok well now you have two people who care and will listen so you just doubled your pool and i know exactly what its like to attempt and fail and wonder why so lets try help each other through this ok
I appreciate that lostnz. I don’t even kno where to start. It’s daytime and I feel just as alone…it’s so frustrating. All I would like is someone to talk when I get like this. I get so Damn sad and depressed. this is how my day goes. I am on short term disability from work…had surgery, so my day goes…wake up early, take my dogs out…I don’t have the strength to stay awake so I go back to sleep until 1-3 and then finally drag myself out of bed…stay up until 4am or so bc I can’t sleep…but as soon as the sun goes down I feel worse. So I feel bad from 6 to 4am. And it starts all over again. It’s a cycle I can’t stop. I have no one to talk to all day and night…I’m so alone…So sad…they say surround urself with people who will only bring u up, but I only have people here that bring me down.
Lostnz, we need to talk more, for a min u actually cheered me up lol. I def want to find this out together. I’m glad I’m not the only one that doesn’t kno y they r here. And I really do appreciate it that u say u care. I don’t hear that much as u can see. It’s nice to hear once in a while
Zg if you are there and need to talk just shout out will listen to whatever you need to get off your mind its the only way to stop from going out of your mind sometimes
Lostnz, r u gonna be on in a few hrs? I need rest, its 4:30am here
Am here whenever you need me will be on line then