I know right now I am the most selfish person but I really have no other choice but to die or give death a try provided it doesnt  betray me like life has always done. Reason : I am 28, abt to get married to an Army officer whose parents indirectly ask for dowry by saying the marriage should be arranged lavishly, branded gifts should be given to the relatives, asking for half of the share for the car my to be husband has brought, my to be / would be husband says his parents should always be respected , blah blah. I don’t wanna marry in to this family, told my family, discussed with them, my father confused, my mom says it happens-our culture  but later on  everything will be fine but I know I wont be able to see things in the right way and my dearest brother is the only one who is fighting for me.
In the last 31 hours I havent had any water, just a few sips of cold drink, 3 small cakes to keep me going and that’s it. Plus I am kinda a slim person so I don’t know  what is stored in future. Thou I have done all research on death by dehydration. So I do know what will start happening to me. I am also crying while typing this bec God Knows what will happen to my parents and my bro and what will the society say as my marriage and engagement has been announced. I can just imagine. For hurting my parents,I am ready to face all problems in my next life if any but this pressure of getting married is killing me. No one , just no one understand. I have to go to work tom, so I don’t know how I shall survive.
Many of you might say that I am a fool, I should think over it and probably you all are right. But Iam just typing all this as I wanna share my most intimate feelings which I can’t do with a person. I don’t know where to end the post and how but I just wanted to share what I am going through.
8 comments
You from India?
I understand how complicated arranged marriages can be. Hell, picking a mate on your own is complicated. I know what it is like to disappoint your parents. It’s something we almost never want or intend to do. But when they don’t understand, when they don’t want to see, even though it’s killing us, we must make them SEE! BUT, you don’t have to dissappear completely so they can understand. Think about your brother. He sees, and he is fighting to help you. Ask him to help you run away, hide out somewhere, just get away. Forget what anybody will say, it doesn’t matter! Let everyone talk, and say, and be angry. Save yourself, and live a life of your own choice! Your parents, your family, they will understand it, sooner or later. You don’t have to do this!
Yup I am :)..So you see the complications! 🙁
Thanks for your advice buddy but only if you knew how difficult it is to run away. It sounds great but not easy 🙁 or else I would be done that long time back. I want to live a life of my own. Even if I might run away, it could do that for three, max four days but what after that. I am from India and it will come haunting me every now and then. I feel if I am no more atleast I will not have to face my parents specially my father. I am just hoping that he understands before it is too late. Your wishes would help. Lets see. Today the third day w/o water, me still alive.
Starving/dehydration isn’t easy. It’s not nice to feel progressively weaker.
Is there any way at all for you to escape from this marriage commitment, and still go on with a decent life?
your idea of self-dehydration is nice. i think he will understand. what father can see and allow his daughter die. he knows what you’re upto na? you’re brave and your causes are high. good luck.
Well I havent told them anything abt this dehydration as I want them to notice, actually my mom and bro have to as my father works abroad or else he would be instantly told me that I look week. Actually I just returned from office and now I really feel weak and thirsty but I just refuse to drink water. It’s my third day! :(…
I know it’s really tough and I am feeling the pain but I guess what I am fighting against is a much stronger cause and keeps me going with this pain and the suffering. I only wish there was some other way thou. :(.. Like really!