I made an attempt in July. I tried to hang myself, I had blacked out when the cord snapped. a friend helped me back then, got me to a doctor and then a psychiatric unit. I’ve tried so hard to be normal and happy but I just don’t have the energy anymore. I lost my job because i just can’t hide my depression anymore. I find myself alone wishing to die, in company wishing to die. Afraid to act again out of guilt. I really don’t know how I can get through another night like this. I’m so lonely and afraid, everything makes me cry which is very unusual for me. I want to go to sleep and not wake up. I can’t go to a doctor because I don’t have a penny to my name And I lost my health insurance with my job so that rules out the hospital. I can’t think of a single reason to keep going on like this other than the people who made me feel so guilty the last time but even now I can’t help but feel that their pain will pass and it can’t be anything like I go through every day. ive reached out to them, let them know im not any better, I don’t know if they don’t get it, are afraid to get it or just don’t care anymore. I’m 26 and have nothing to show for my life, no education, no job, no one to care for or care for me. I don’t want anything anymore just not to be.