Friends Suck

It sounds like you’re in high school or middle school. This is when even the most mentally healthy people are vulnerable to depression, and pretty much everyone agrees that kids can be assholes and things get better as you age. The fact that you reached out to your friend tells me you recognize that you’re in trouble and are looking for help. I’m sorry it didn’t have your desired result, but keep in mind that your friend is also a young person with his own mental crap to deal with, and that he probably doesn’t have the faculties to deal with such a serious issue.

You need an adult. If your parents aren’t approachable, try your school’s guidance counselor. Or make an excuse to visit your doctor and let him/her know that you’re hurting and need help. I understand the appeal of self-harming, but at your age it’s even worse than a temporary panacea- you’re building mental and behavioral pattern that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Don’t forfeit the next 50 years because these last few have been shitty. Don’t give your demons that power. I guarantee that there will come a day (many days!) when you will be grateful that you withstood the anguish of young adulthood, and gave your future a chance.

As someone in their 30s, I often wish I’d known that as agonizing as my teenage problems were, they were ephemeral, and wallowing in a negative mental state would be more damaging than whatever was troubling me. You choose your reality every moment. You might not be able to fix the world around you, but you have immense control over the world within. Choose not to linger on pain. And let me assure you that people who suffered the most as teenagers often make the most interesting, compassionate, and worthwhile adults. Wait for it…