has anyone here tried self medicating with psychedelics like mushrooms?

I always found that I was back on fire for life after taking mushrooms. But it’s temporary and without some kind of habitual use of it, I don’t feel connected to anything greater than myself. I’ve found that it’s the connection to the spiritual that gives me motivation to keep living. But I’ve been months without any connection to my/our higher self and I can feel myself tumbling into despair, more and more each day. I hope I can find another route to that divine heavenly place…The warmth of love and the motivation to keep going is too much to give up. I used to be a Christian, and often I look back at that and long for that old life style. But then I remember why I left in the first place, to seek the truth. Which is not in this decrepit earth, it’s not in romantic relationships, and it’s not in the condemnation of others.