Hated

My family hates me so much and its getting to me more than ever. All of the people I was stupid enough to trust are hating me again which happens every time I trust people and my family are just being horrid. I know it doesn’t sound like anything horrible or bad but today I was doing homework in my room and I went out to get a drink only to find my two little brothers and mum standing there laughing in front of a freshly set up Christmas tree and fully decorated house and my mum said to them “See what a great job a family can do when we all work together?” And then saw me and just said “Oh, come over here and take a photo of us for us would you?” I know it sounds like nothing and they’ve done much worse to me but I think this makes me feel more isolated and hated than anything they’ve ever called me. It’s as though they don’t want me there, as though I’m a mistake, someone who doesn’t matter in the slightest. It makes me want to go sit in a corner and take out my knife again. They all hate me. I hate me to. Why am I alive?